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Freewrite: Narcissist's Terror Barrier

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Written by   137
5 months ago

A wave of inspiration came down on me like a massive wave. There are many things going through my mind, so I don't know which one to talk about first. Perhaps, I should start from the subconscious goal of every narcissist and go backward. Their behavior is a self-validation process, which most likely stems from the lack of self-esteem 'caused by feelings of unworthiness or words (affirmations) their minds absorbed during childhood.

To fix that feeling of lack, they must create a picture of being important, crucial, infallible, or, in other words, they must establish dominance over other people, which are most often children or spouses.

Well, I mentioned in several articles that silence is like a knife that cuts the invisible string between people, or should I say their minds. The nature of narcissists consists of the defense mechanism that protects that "string", 'cause without it, their dominance can't be maintained, nor can they remain in the center of attention. In their eyes, everything either is or must become about them.

To drive them crazy, one must remain silent instead of falling for a bait that I'd like to talk about. Keep in mind that I'm not suggesting being impolite or lowkey aggressive, rather, I recommend self-defense in order to remain healthy and happy, 'cause it's almost impossible to be happy and/or maintain mental wellbeing when living with a narcissist.

I find their reactions peculiar. Consciously, they have no idea what's going on when their target responds with silence, but their subconscious minds know it very well, which is why they begin reacting emotionally (the subconscious mind is the emotional mind). For a few days, it will seem like they have no problem with your silence and/or decision to ignore them, but then, when you approach the critical point, they'll try to put you back into place with the so-called "terror barrier". At first, they might begin asking you questions that you must answer one way or another (to re-establish the connection between minds by starting a conversation). If, however, you find a way out of that and respond without saying a word, they'll hit you with anger or impolite adjectives. For instance, they might begin commenting on your intelligence and try to trigger you into speaking.

That's exactly what happened to me. I know my IQ and capabilities. There's no need for anyone to tell me whether or not I'm intelligent 'cause I have results, black on white. Yet, a family member that usually was using me as a trash can for her emotions tried to trick me into speaking, after 2 weeks of silence in between us. In fact, that turned on the light bulb above my head and made me realize that's the thing to be shared!

Fortunately, I didn't fall for her traps, which infuriated her. At the moment, she's fuming around the house, arguing with herself. That's what happens when you refuse to participate in games of narcissists. If they can't eat you up, they'll begin eating themselves up.

If, however, you stumble, and fall for "deceits of ghouls", don't be harsh towards yourself. You need to go through a learning process, and gain experience! That is all! Being naive and/or inexperienced is not a sin. Usually, warmhearted people are naive, 'cause they believe other people have no evil intentions.

Just return into the silent mode, quickly, and start reminding yourself on a daily basis that speech is powerful. DO NOT RE-ESTABLISH COMMUNICATION, NO MATTER WHAT THEY ASK, OR WHAT THEY SAY!

There is a song by Ac/Dc, called "It's a long way to the top if you want to rock n roll". The sooner you begin walking, the sooner you'll reach the finish line... Remember, do it to protect yourself, not to cause harm to others!

Here is a video that contains powerful quotes by Rumi. Those can remind you of your value. That's important, 'cause narcissists often make us look worthless and evil in our own eyes:

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Written by   137
5 months ago
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Comments

"At the moment, she's fuming around the house, arguing with herself.."

I find this alarming and it isn't specific behaviour of a narcissist. Sounds like my mother and people like that break you. If not now in the future. No hospital bed with a nice white suit available somewhere?

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5 months ago

No hospital bed with a nice white suit available somewhere?

Hahahah 🤣 that would make the thing a whole lotta easier for me, but wouldn't solve a thing in the long run. Why do you find that behaviour alarming? I told you, our family members are very similar (I read many posts of yours).

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5 months ago

That is why having good communication with other people is the best key to avoid any anger. Spread happiness 🤗

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5 months ago

Communicating with narcissists is a dangerous idea. 🤔

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5 months ago

True 🤗

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5 months ago