Having someone you can always rely on, makes life so meaningful. Especially, when you grow together, learned together, and spent most of the time together. I remember back when I'm still his sidekick whenever we go and whatever we do. I was always his cheerleader and his happy pill. That was the good old days.
Flashing back to the times where Facebook and messenger were not in our vocabulary yet. Times where we took pictures but we don't post them on Facebook because we don't have accounts and we just piled it all in the gallery until my phone storage reached its capacity.
I missed the old times walking on the side of the road together, talking about random things about what would happen to us in the future. He always said to me that he wanted to become an engineer. I believed him so because he was so good at math. I was so terrible at math but he is so bad in English and Science. We are each other's backup. People would tease us telling us that we could be together in the future. But, we ignore it because we are just best friends.
When he started dating a lot of girls in college, I scolded him many times because he became a serial dater which was so annoying. I know some of his girls but most of them did not last for long. I told him to focus on his studies because Engineering is not high school. So, he quit playing around with girls and we studied real hard for our future.
I graduated first because engineering has 5 years for it to complete. I was already working as a part-time teacher in a private school, We were just in the same town but we barely see each other because he became busy with his thesis. Our communication is still going on, he calls me at night, requesting for me to sing a song which I gladly serve.
Fast forward to his graduation which happened virtually because of covid. I was so happy and so proud of both of us. We achieved more than what we are expecting. I remembered that night, we had a few drinks with our high school friends, he told me that he likes someone and they are already seeing each other. I felt betrayed because I didn't know he was dating behind my back. I mean, it's fine with me but I'm used to knowing what is his whereabouts. I stood up and left that night. In the morning, I saw him on the front porch step of my house with my dad while drinking coffee. I overheard him saying he was sorry because he was not able to send me home last night. I went back to my room. I'm still mad at him for lying to me. This was not the first time we got into a fight. We fight and argue most of the time, but this one is different because he betrayed me. I was asking myself that time if I was just being immature for acting like this. Nonetheless, I forgave him and we go back to what we are. Then he stopped seeing girls and focused on his part-time job.
We became closer as ever. We go to places we have never been before. There are times where I stood up to work every Saturday for our road trip. He always took the best angles of me. Have I ever known that our friendship will just end hanging on a cliff.
He met someone, who goes to the same school as him at college. I remembered the time how his eyes glistened every time he talks about her. From that moment on, I already knew, he found the one. I always gladly listened to his stories about the girl he falls in love with. I got busy at work and I realized, I never received any messages from him. I sent him a message but he just ignored it. I was getting worried so I tried calling you. Then finally you sent me a message saying, "Sorry fyang, rhea will be mad if I will take to you. Please understand." Just that I understood that they are officially dating. I distanced myself because that's what he wanted.
It was my birthday. I expected he would even come at least to my house. He never came. Then, I decided to live my life as I should be tho thinking that I could also find someone of my own.
We saw each other when we attended the Despedida party of one of our high school classmates. I did not bother talking to him as I see him distancing himself from me. I wanted to say, "Buds, when you left I lost a part of me, it's still so hard to believe." I lost the yin to my yang. I could've understood and supported him with his relationship but he shut me out. I couldn't accept 13 years of friendship ended just because of some random girl you met. Unfair it is.
Until now, it's been a year that we haven't talked to each other. We see each other in our neighborhood as if we did not share funny memories. I had no choice but to drown it all. Sometimes I long for his presence, but little by little I'm learning to accept that he's no longer part of me.
Buds, I hope you're happy right now with her. If ever she hurts you, you deserved it. Joke! Let's go and drink beer. I'm waiting till the day you wake up and come back to your best friend. I'm missing you so much.
P.S I dated your roommate 😁jk
Losing a friend is more heartbreaking than losing a lover. But still, life goes on. 💜