@Fionaa 15 October 2020 more from that month

Right way to catch up

The steel cupboard that I had bought for six months at Rs 8,000 was handed over with the old goods in this pick-up. When my groom refused to take anything from my father-in-law's house for the wedding, I came to my father-in-law's house empty-handed wearing sari ornaments. When my aunts and uncles in the village came to see my wife and wanted to know what she had brought from my father's house, my mother-in-law used to say with a smile that I had brought her father's most valuable property and what else were you talking about? After finishing all the formalities, the first day I came with Cyan to our two-room house in the city, I went to bed to get the mat. I remember the lights and fans were on and it was half past two in the morning. After so much stress over the whole day's journey, we fell into a deep sleep in that bedless mattress. The next day was Saturday so I went out early in the morning. Having tea at a hotel in the morning, having breakfast with vegetables, I ran to the stove, to buy dishes, daily necessities. On the way back I went to buy mattresses and curtains. My choice is blue cyan green. I also want the bed sheet to be matching. After some hesitation, Cyan gave up. The last time I bought Sky Blue curtains and sheets, my mind was filled with serenity. Four large beds, a huge drawing dining room and three balconies all over the house. When I call from here, my throat does not reach the ears of boys and girls easily. But in that small house of mine, whether it was a quarrel or a hidden conversation, everything had to be uttered very carefully so that it would not reach the ears of the boys and girls. Then again and again I thought that I would have an open space of my own. But today, in this 1800 square feet house, we are living in a distant country. Back then, when someone came to the house, they had to be huddled, but today there is no one to stay. I just think this is the last time Budd Eklara, if someone came to visit a little old! I am the one who stopped talking to Cyan every week because I could not give time due to work pressure. In old age, those stories like night and day are stuck in the market list and as a doctor's diet. I don't want to go out even if I want to go to the bank and have a busy life. But after saving the bonus money for two days, Sayan and I went to Cox's Bazar with our four-year-old son on a three-day vacation. What a joy, what an exuberance. Those three days were like a dream. Even today, when you think about it, the waves of joy play in the corner of your mind. After that I went out a couple more times but with time those feelings of happiness seem to have faded. Once upon a time, hobbies were not possible. Today, self-sufficient cyan - Aditi's hobby seems to have died or fallen under the weight of age. Little by little, the two of us arranged the world together, today's dining is tomorrow's TV. I was very fond of decorating the house and when I went out I would buy something, I would find peace to decorate the house more than sari ornaments. What do you want to say whenever Cyan? Without thinking, I would sit for something for the world. Once the blender is another oven. Ah! The satisfaction that comes from buying that one thing is like the countless new furniture in my decorated world today. Now, instead of leaning my body in my easy chair and looking at the sky with a cup of fancy tea in my hand, I wondered if there was an unknown happiness hidden in drinking two sips of tea at the same time before going to the office to wipe my sweat. Cyan is putting all our old stuff in a pickup. All these are not suitable in this house. My son is helping his father on the beach, the girl is tidying up her house with a happy mood. New flats, new furniture, new areas, but why are the tears inside me trying to come out. I stood by the window grill and watched my daughter's reading table. Orin made it when Orin was in class three, from then until Inter, and he used to read on that table. Table which was placed next to him, I made it by explaining to the mechanic that it would be very convenient to keep the food. And next to it is the steel cupboard I bought for eight thousand rupees. What a joy it was for me after the purchase, I wore a lot of saris, one with cyan suits and another with hangers, and the clothes worn outside by boys and girls. That was the guardian of all my possessions. The ornaments, the money saved, the valuables that he kept in his possession for twenty years. I think they came to light the house just like my child that day, what a joy. But today they are leaving with so much negligence to witness our happy struggling life. Everything in the first life is beautiful to understand. At the beginning of our family life, we used to go around the shops and do our small daily necessities, come back if we don't like it, save a little money and buy it as a big hobby. Now there is no such thing as a hobby, everything is like luxury. As soon as I ask for anything, I have no desire to get it, no boundless happiness. So I realized that in that small house in our quarters, the fragments of memories that we left behind revolve like the supernatural. All of a sudden, I was taken away from this glittering life by the memories of my love for Cyan, in the alleys of pride, in the mischievous mischief of my children's childhood, and in the very ordinary world I tidied up. The world is actually a treasure of kindness, all of it is like kindness. The wall mat hanging on the wall, the small pot of tea, the vase in the drawing room, the creeping leaves in the window are like a reflection of love and Maya. Self-made children, or self-bought showpieces, perhaps none of the food cooked by hand is above love. All in all, it creates a strange magic that holds us together, so I understand that no matter how much we want to move forward, there is an old thread that can't be ignored even if we want to.