June 11, 2021
Make peace with your past so that it does not interfere with your present. - Paulo Coelho
Have you ever pay attention to that saying? have you ever thought that it may really interfere with the present? Or if it's interfering with your present already?
I was disturbed by that saying sometime in 2014 and yes, that is because I'm not always good, I am not always kind in other words I'm just a normal human being who has good and bad sides, who have mood swings. You may also say a naughty human being too. But definitely, it wasn't intentional, it was just part of my growing up, exploring the world.
My love life back then was always a failure or I just thought it was a failure because it ended up in a break-up and so this line crossed my mind. I thought about that line for days thinking about what I have done in the past that could interfere with my present and there's only one incident that I know that karma will get back to me because of that.
That incident was about my ex-boyfriend that I really didn't consider him as ex, why? because he was a rebound but I'm his first girl friend that has been introduced to all his relatives, and I broke his heart. I broke his heart by not having a proper break-up. He wasnt communicating for a month so I thought it's over and so, i went out with another guy. I'm worst right? I still don't know about the 3 month rule back then and I can't find him so what will I do? Should i just wait until he showed up again? But I wasn't patient enought during time,waiting is still not in my dictionary that time that's why I went out on a date with another guy. After a month and two weeks he showed up again, expecting that I was just there waiting for his return only to find out that there's no one waiting for him and what's worst is that someone is already enjoying someone's company. I told him the truth, i told him what's the real score and he was so mad at me, he was crying and telling me that he was just gone for a month and I already found someone new. I didn't give in to his crying, what I just did was turn my back on him and call his friends for him to have some company. It took him sometime before he was able to accept that it was over, when he is going out with his friends to have a drink, they will call me just to asked me if I can still give him another chance but because I don't want to hurt him anymore I said no, and I stop communicating with them.
That was the worst that I did in the past that I thought could interfere with my present. And I have no right to reason out and I can't even argue that what I did is just right because if you will look at all angles what I did is just offensive even horrible.
That time, I was brave enough to look for him, to talk to him to and to ask for forgiveness with what I did. It didn't took me long to find him. After ten long years, I was able to talked to him again. Did he forgive me? I think yes, and we talk like it was just yesterday that we last talked. At first, he said that he already forgot what happened and that we can still be friends. He update me that he have a good job now and have a pretty girlfriend and I was happy for him. Did he asked if I have a boyfriend that time? Yes and I lied hahaha, just can't admit with him that my relationship that time was a failure.
That's what I did to make peace with my past. And yes it feels good knowing that you did something to correct your wrong doing. It feels good knowing that someone forgives you. Accepting your mistake is hard but doing something to correct it is something. Never miss a chance to ask for forgiveness.
And until now we are still friends.
What about you? Do you have something in your past that you need to make peace? Are you still willing to correct it just to make sure your future will be alright?
Image source: Taken by me
Thanks for reading and don't forget to hit that like and subscribe button. You can also leave a comment if you have any questions or suggestions. Thanks again!
-What do you love the most in have someone special in your life
-Love yourself a little more everyday