Middle Child Syndrome

02-22-22 | Eurydice

When I was young up until now, I always have the feeling of being the outcast of the family. This feeling is still in me even if I am already a grown-up lady. I always asked myself as to "why my parents didn't give me the same attention that they gave to my 2 sisters."

Many would probably say that the feelings that I have right now is not valid. But I just want everyone to be aware that it's true. In fact, there are researchers who already made a study about it. However, it was not pursued by the theorist (Alfred Adler) because other theorists contradicted his ideas.

For the awareness of my dear readers, I am a middle child of the family. My older sister is 24 years old and my younger sister is 17 years old. Even if we are already grown-up, I can still feel that my 2 sisters are most loved by my parents.

Since I wanted to understand myself, I did a research about the " Middle Child Syndrome". After reading the article, I realized that this feelings of mine is normal at all since there are also other people who felt the same way as I do.

For those readers who are also middle child like me. I wanted to share in this platform about the important things that I learned after reading the article.

To better understand, let's talk first about the Middle Child Syndrome.

As a middle child like me, I always have the feeling of being excluded, ignored or even outright rejected by my parents. Maybe they were unaware that I have this feeling because I am not open to them. Aside from that, I also don't want them to know.

I can also relate to the characteristics of a middle child as included in the article.

I. Personality

"Middle children have personalities that are often overshadowed by their other siblings. The older sibling is strong-willed, and the younger sibling is the baby, which leaves the middle child somewhere in-between. Their personality may be dulled down by their siblings, making them quiet and even-tempered."

I can relate to this because I was often overshadowed by my sisters. My older sister is a strong-willed that is why my mother love her more. On the other hand, my younger sister is considered as the family's baby and daddy's girl. While me? I just only have myself, my cats and my dogs. That maybe the reason why I becaame an introvert person because I cannot open up my problem and thoughts to them.

II. Relationships

" Middle children may have trouble feeling equal to their siblings in parental relationships. The older sibling often holds more responsibilities, and the younger sibling is well taken care of by the parents. The middle child isn’t given as much attention as either."

This is true. Every time my parents go to supermarkets to do some grocery, they always want my older sister to be with them. I always left at home doing household chores. Even if I wanted to go, I just hold my emotions and keep it to myself. My younger sister get lesser household chores because they always say that I'm older than her and I should be the one to adjust. (sadlife)

III. Favoritism

" Middle children generally don’t feel that they are the favorite child of the family. Favoritism may exist for the oldest child who is viewed as special, or for the youngest child who is viewed as the baby. The middle child falls somewhere in-between and is unable to be the favorite of either parent."

I think this is the worst. I have felt this for a couple of times. One of those was when I and my younger sister were suffering from fever and cough. I can say that they were more concern on my younger sister's status. They can't even ask if I'm okay or I am healed already. No one is worried about my health condition. In short, I am nobody's favorite.

But despite of these, I am still thankful to my parents for raising me and for loving me. I may not feel the equal love that they extended to my sisters, but I am still thankful because they still gave me a complete family. That is what I always want right now.

Anyways, to those who wants to know more about the Middle Child Syndrome, you can check it here.

Thank you for reading and Take care.

Love,

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