Children's day in Nigeria.
I used to think that the 27th of may is children's day worldwide until today when I was thinking to write an article. I asked google what is date is children's day and to my surprise, it was something different. Not even close to the date I have always thought was children's day. I found that the date set aside for children's day globally is the 20th of November and the reason it was surprising to me is because I once made it my mission to memorise all these special dates and I did a pretty good job with it.
So today being children's day in Nigeria, it is supposed to be a wonderful and cheerful day where you take your kids or younger siblings to amusement parks and have lots of fun. Sadly enough that wasn't possible because of the current situation of the country. There wasn't any curfew no restriction of movement but any careful person doesn't dare join crowds or move therein.
Every year in primary schools, the authority usually take them out for excursions on children's day that's after they've paid a fee of $2. They intended doing so this year but none of the students paid, not because their parents do not have the money, but because of the issue of safety. My younger sibling who teaches in a school told me this and even in the most difficult of situations, we always find ways to make ourselves happy.
Today is a public holiday which means there's no school and so all students are at home. I was happy when I saw children dressing in their best clothes and playing in the streets. They were so engrossed that none of them noticed me when I passed by. I feel like children of this generation are more understanding than we were to our parents when we were kids. They know they can't afford an outing for whether security or financial reasons so they are doing it their own way. Mind you, I speak for the place i live not the whole country because I know there are those who'd take their children for outing. Here it is advisable not to, at least in the meantime.
Thanks for reading. As you might have perhaps noticed from today's writing, I am not really in the mood to write as I am a bit sad because of the news that has been flying around. Yeah, about the impending end of read.cash and noisecash. Although we all knew they wouldn't last forever but I think non of us thought it would end too soon. Anyways, however it turns out to be, whether it turns out true or not, let's all appreciate how this site has helped us and even if it does stop, it will remain one of the best family I have ever been part of.
Thanks for reading folks.
Yours Layly,
💖💖💖😊
Is there a limit to how much of ourselves we sacrifice?
The ability and willingness to make selfless sacrifices is a much valued and rare trait to find in a person. If you have people who are that selfless and do things just for you, please do not let them go for they are getting rarer by the hour. If you're one of those people please do not change. We need more of you in this world. 💖💖
Although I consider the trait as a very desirable one, infact "sacrifice" forms a very good part of my beliefs but I have been thinking recently if I made a mistake or is it just the way I am? I don't plan in changing any part of me except the negative parts so I will keep on sacrificing for God, myself and for others for as long as I live!
Though, I'd love to do whatever I can for people, my past experiences have taught me otherwise and I know better now. I used to be a person with no boundaries and have gone out of my way several times just to make people happy. The most painful thing about it all is that 90% of the people I did these for end up taking me for a fool and exploiting that weakness of mine. I am no fool and know what the things they do but couldn't bring myself to stop because, my loved ones are both my strength and my weakness and the fact that they know this provided them an added advantage and most times they do so without any repercussions. They think they found a puppet they could use anytime it suits them and yes! There was once a puppet!
There's a limit to everything they say. Every action, every human has a limit and when it is reached and it gets too much , a reaction follows even from the meekest of people. I soon realised that there are people who are better off loved from a distance and just like that, a new me was born. I started taking actions and distancing myself from people without even taking the slow step of reducing contact with them. I just cut them all off!! They were shocked and couldn't recognise me, some even proceeded with smear campaigns and started telling others that I have grown crazy and stuff like that. The thing with me is that no matter how bad a person hurts me I can never stop loving them and like I said, that's my weakness, but over time I have learnt to hide it from people so that they won't continually use it against me by mistaking it for foolishness. Even though I can't unlove you once I do, I have learnt and now mastered the art of loving from a distance to protect my own peace as that's my duty and no other's. I have learnt to equate emotional pain with physical pain. You can't watch a person slice your flesh like onions and you stay watching without doing anything just because you love them. You go away from them, heal and keep staying far away from them as possible. That's exactly what I do now when people hurt me continually, I stay away, heal and keep staying away unless extremely necessary... I know it is not my place to tell you what you should and shouldn't do but you should do that too if you have those people in your life.
It's true that making other people happy also brings you a form of happiness, but when the "if you're happy, then I am happy phrase" is uttered all too often, the party you're favouring starts thinking that they are entitled and once you stop doing things for them and start doing things for yourself, they say you don't love them anymore and say you're "changed". It's too hard not to do that as it is a dark part of human nature. I have seen such things happen in relationships countless times.
Humans have a certain level of self grandiosity in them and if unfortunately you get associated with those whose level of self grandiosity is high up the scale, they expect you to keep sacrificing for them just to show that you love them and sadly, these type of people dominate those who aren't like that.
Never forget guys, our sanity should be placed over everything else. Once a person starts driving you nuts in a bad way, take a step back, access the situation objectively and do what you have to do to keep your sanity intact. You owe yourself that. If there's one thing you should never sacrifice for anyone including your own self, that would be your sanity and by this I mean mental health. Honestly very few people are mentally sane these days so don't be among the lot.
Remember, do not let the behaviours of other's change the beautiful soul you have, I have seen people turn bad because they have been treated un-nicely in the past. Maintain your nature, stick to your beliefs and setting your boundaries and enforcing them strongly is one way to do that.
Thanks for reading,
Yours Layly,
💖💖💖💖.
Thoughts and actions and the significance of 3am.
Our brains have this amazing ability to be able to reprogram and rewire itself through our actions and the activities that go on in our mind. In reality, we have more control over our brains than we think and if we put ourselves to it, we're capable of controlling what we think, how we think, our perspective to things and our thought patterns in general. Activities repeated regularly stick, the brain recognises them and they become habits, this habits have effects on our brain and that's why they are difficult to break especially when they have become more than just a habit but amm addiction. An example is a person who goes to work everyday at 8:00am and comes back home at 8:00pm, goes to bed at 9:00pm, if this is repeated for a very long time, say four to five months, that person would find that they instantly start feeling asleep once it's almost 9:00pm because their minds have picked up a habit and is helping them to reinforce them. Another example is with Muslims who pray five times a day since from the age they are able to think until they die, this is more than a habit but a lifestyle and something I notice is that, even without a watch or a call to prayer from the mosque, when it's time for prayer they instantly know, without anyone telling them anything, they instantly feel it and they get up to pray. This also goes for the dawn prayer, those who've mastered it wake up without alarm because their brains have been influenced by their actions and is starting to act in the directions of their wills. So there is something about how our actions influence our minds, this goes vice versa to so I guess we should be careful with our actions and our thoughts because the results are the same.
So here is another thing, my definition of midnight lies within the boundaries of this time and it holds a deep significance for me. How? How does it have any effect on me? None that I can pin down because it's not all the time I wake up by 3:00am but whenever I do I make sure to maximise it to its fullest.
It's strange how whenever I have a dream, and I am not talking about my meaningless dreams here but the once I feel have a much deeper meaning, I always wake up few minutes after or before 3:00am like say, 2:56am to 3:05am. So I basically wake up at 3:00am. When I am in school to and am studying into the night, when it's 3:00am I get extra alert and a feeling of peace envelopes me from head to toe. I feel like a weight has been lifted of me, making me feel cooler, better and lighter. I haven't given all these much thoughts for the reason that I might not find an answer, I mean you don't always get answers to these sort of things right? I can't say I believe everything out there about angel numbers and some cool astrology stuff or even superstitious stuff, but my attempts to finding an answer would end up with either of those. Besides I don't think there's a need to seek for an answer, not necessary if you ask me.
Judging from this, you can deduce that waking up by 3:00am or staying awake up to 3:00am isn't a particular habit of mine so this is neither influenced by my thoughts or habits. This has been going on for as long as the day I had an experience difficult to explain in words. I felt like my soul is leaving my body, you might be asking how I knew it was my soul, well I don't know how I know but I know, it's that simple and complicated. Logic has no place when dealing with the supernatural. When I had that experience I woke up with a jolt and just like that, I felt like my soul was replaced back instantly. In an attempt to explain, it feels like a sweeping feeling, like a breeze followed by your soul, leaving your body cold then just before the soul could be taken out, you woke up and it slipped riggt back in. When I checked the time on waking up at that particular day it was 3:00am. Ever since 3:00am always brings me these kind of feelings and sometimes it comes with levels of my creativity getting unlocked. My brain sharpens and I think better.
Do you have a time on the clock that gets you like this or is it just me?
Thanks for reading.
Yours Layly,
💖💖💖
A dialogue with a mosquito.
The reason I am writing later than my normal writing time is because I drifted away while doing something I had forgotten about already, it wasn't that important by the way. Just then, a mosquito came wheezing by, in broad daylight! It is quite uncommon for me to see mosquitoes during the daytime but today not only did I see it, it sang me a lullaby very close to my ear. You know one of those moments when something happens and you're not sure if it is in a dream or if it reality? That's what it felt like. Although that pass isn't likely a dream, what I am about to tell you definitely is..
The mosquito sang a lullaby in my was and I mean that literally. Not just a wheezing noise but an actual song. I got up from my sleep in my dream and said to this little creature,
*Layla: "that sounds really nice, but why do you have to go through all the stress though? I was about to sleep anyways!".*
*Mosquito: Wow, so you really understood the song? I always thought humans hate our lullabies and think we do it to annoy you guys, I guess that's because you don't understand us.*
*Layla : well...you can't really blame them can you? Science told us that's a way of distracting us so that you can suck our blood, even if we could here how beautiful your lullabies sound, we would still get irritated by it since it isn't sung for the right reasons.*
*Mosquito: what do you mean, right reasons?*
*Layla: You do it because you want to have a better opportunity of biting us, not because you're really interested in our sleep.*
*Mosquito(visibly indignant, with antennae sticking out more prominently) :... and you think that's a wrong reason to bite you? Look, I understand you're a human but that doesn't make you right either. From your biased perspective, it's wrong for is to do so and you aren't wrong in protecting yourselves, but insinuating that we're doing it for the wrong reasons is blatantly inconsiderate and overtly biased. We're living creatures too and have to fend for ourselves and if that means sucking on your blood, so be it! It's not for us by the way but for our young ones, we need blood to hatch our eggs. We need to keep surviving, we can't go back extinct simply because you think we're doing what we do for the "wrong" reasons. I am sure, if the rows were reversed, with the selfishness of the average human, you guys could do much worse!*
*Layla(suddenly realises Mr mosquito has a point, but nonetheless still surprised at the sudden outburst) : Well Sir, you do have a point, but that was sudden and I wasn't expecting it at all, were you that upset from what I said? Anyways you have all reasons to propagate your species, perhaps it's even a responsibility, and thank you for acknowledging that I also have a right to protect myself. I never knew mosquitoes could be this objective.*
*Mosquito :Well, I guess you're right. What saddens me is how my species have grown to hate humans too because of how you hate them.*
*Layla : Well isn't that something unavoidable?*
*Mosquito : Yeah seems like it, the hatred is bound to be there, both species are just doing what they think is best for themselves. Humans protect humanity from mosquitoes, Mosquito do what they do to ensure continuity of the mosquitity!*
*Layla(laughs) :What's mosquitity? Sounds like a word a verse in those awful noises you make in people's ears.*
*Mosquito (adjusts glasses): If humans have humanity, why can't mosquitoes have a mosquitity.. Or are you tryna sound biased again?!*
*Layla :Oh! Hahaha, fair enough Mr. Sorry if it sounds like that hahaha. Seriously you're a funny dude you know, are most mosquitoes like you tho?*
*Mosquito : Well I can't answer that, you know most of us don't know what we're like because we our lifespan is short and there's barely enough time for self realisation, but I guess I am not that different.*
*Layla: Hmm... Well I just hope someday you guys evolve into a specie that doesn't need blood to survive, that would be an evolutionary achievement for you guys. Knowing that there are many mosquitoes out there just like you, I guess I will feel bad if I ever kill anyone of your brethren again!*
*Mosquito (proceeds to Leave) :I hope so too, it's not like blood tastes good by the way.. or maybe science would help us if they know our plight. The problem is we can't speak to you humans and all our attempts to do so will sound offensive.*
... And then he flew speedily to his brothers. Do you think there's a way to do what he says. I felt bad for the little guy though after hearing his side, but I guess until science does anything about it, or until evolution, things will just keep up the way they are. This made me remember an article by @Ellen.he titled animals just cannot say what's on their minds. https://read.cash/@Ellen.he/animals-just-can-not-say-what-is-on-their-minds-189b1a79
So guys what do you think about this? Do you think Mr Mosquito did justice to why they have to suck blood even at the expense of people's health? As a human, what do you think about the actions of humans towards mosquitoes and in extension, harmful animals in general?
Thanks for reading.
Special thanks to @foryoubtc09 for the sponsorship renewal.
Yours Layly,
💖💖💖
Special thanks to amazing @garrethgrey for the sponsorship renewal. More wins to you💖
What's your bed-wetting experience that almost ruined you?
Talking about little dark childhood secrets, a lot of us got alot of em! Bed-wetting is one of those secrets we dare not talk to our friends about but would want to know their own secrets. It was viewed as something embarrassing and quite shameful. One could easily become a laughing stock among his/her peers if the secret leaks out!
While it is true that not everyone bedwetted as a kid, it is quite unlikely that a child would go through his whole childhood or even early adolescence without having experienced it. For some, the duration is very brief, for others it was extended, while for some it extends right into their teenage years or even early adulthood... but it does eventually stops.
Anyways for me, it didn't stop as early as it did for most of my peers because I remember me having many bed-wetting episodes when I was in junior secondary school, that's around ages 11-13&14. It was a nightmare for me because I always get scared when it happens, more than I do when at home. The reasons are because, as I have already stated here before, my boarding school is literally a forest and doing out in the night is always scary, the other reason is because I know I am dead if anyone, especially my friends. Fortunately for me, whenever I bedwet I don't get comfortable sleeping in my piss until in the morning when someone would wake me up and say, "hey girl you're drowning" lol, like some people who had similar problems. I always wake up few minutes after I piss myself, after spending some minutes with feelings of self pity, self disgust and utter regret, I summon courage to get up, go to the bathroom and clean up. After changing into dry clothes, I wash the wet cloth that same night, dry them on an open window with adequate ventilation, mop the spot on my mattress while exposing it to dry, then I pick up a book under the guise of "studying". You'd think I am a serious student while all I was doing was buying time for my mattress to dry lol. Well sometimes it did dry on time when there's enough ventilation which I mostly augment with manual fanning, with either a book or an actual handfan. When it dries I go back to sleep immediately and when it's morning, it's like nothing ever happened! Not to mention the sweet smelling Arabian perfume I apply all over the place gifted to me by my mom when she came back from Saudi Arabia that time. People literally wanted to sit on my bed! Now that's pretty smart innit? 😂😂
However your smart girl got quite unfortunate one day and was literally caught doing her midnight shenanigans by a fellow room-mate who went woke up to ease herself. I actually scared her when she saw me blowing the mattress religiously and she was like "gurl what you doing 😒". I told her I accidentally spilled water on my bed while studying and she said "oh". She went back to sleep, or so I thought...
This gurl popped back up again when I was washing the piss clothes and was like "did you spill water on your clothes too?😃". Dang! She knew! The lies were over so I came as clean as a whistle. I told her that I peed myself in my dream and we just laughed about it. I was kinda uneasy and didn't trust her enough to believe she won't tell others because there was an incident that happened when a girl who owns her upper bunk peed herself and literally gave her a bath she didn't ask for as she was at the bottom. This girl peed in torrents lol! For your urine to flow from your bed to the ground shows how comfortable you must have gotten in your pee dream haha. I don't usually get that comfortable because most times I still feel the need to urinate even after waking up from a bed wetting dream, which means I didn't empty myself on my bed. So I made this girl promise not to tell anyone about it and luckily for me, she turned out trustworthy and till date, no one knows, even my close high school friends, that I once was a chronic bedwetter. I can only imagine the damage it would have done to my self-esteem if they had found out. I know what happens when your close friend find out about this and it isn't a good experience at all! People who are know for their bed wetting skills often take their mattresses out, line them up against the hostel wall for the sun to evaporate the piss of their mattresses, leaving illustrations of different maps of different countries around the world. One could literally use these mattresses to study geography lol! The stares that those kids received alone was mocking enough, not to talk of the constant verbal bullying they received.
Thanks for reading and I hope you enjoyed my story!
Yours Layly,
💖💖💖
The fear of abandonment.
This morning, my cousin was about to go to work after taking his bath, he headed towards the gate while his youngest child scampered behind him, crying for his attention. He came back and took his son, patting him gently to stop the tears. He handed the little boy to the boy's mother who sat on a stool in the compound operating her mobile phone. She took him and sat him down on her laps while my cousin headed towards the gate again to go to work. He boy, on seeing this wriggled his way out of his mother's clutch, he headed towards the direction of his father again, crying as he scurried hastily to catch up with his father, unfortunately for this youngster his dad was long gone already and he was crying furiously, hitting his head with his palm at the betrayal.
At that point I wondered to myself "what if children aren't born with little bodies? What if they were born with strong arms and legs, with bulging biceps all over the place?" I imagined a scenario where my cousin was caught by his son and tied down on a wooden chair with strong ropes when he tried to leave him alone because I am quite sure that kid was crying because that's about the only thing he can do in that situation to get his father's attention, he might succeed or fail at this. I am also darn sure that if kids were born with Strong arms and legs, then that kid would do exactly what I had imagined earlier because although he would have had strong arms and legs, but he'd still be a kid at heart.
Then I realised that a lot of grown-ups are just like my cousin's son. They are still children at heart. They fear abandonment more than they fear their own death. They'd rather do anything within their power, even if it means going against their own beliefs, morals or values. They are so scared of being left alone that they would go as far as manipulate other people's feelings into keeping those people with them. I remember a story by @Theblackdoll titled "Best friend to my worst enemy" talking about how a friend fears abandonment or had become obsessed with her friend to the extent that she was ready to hurt her. This is due to a mentality of "if I can't have it, then no one else will". You can read the story here.
We all have a degree of fear regarding abandonment depending on how valuable the person is to us but when when this fear becomes so intense, it results in a form of unhealthy or toxic attachments that could result in the downfall of both parties involved. There's been a point most of our lives when we thought we couldn't live without a person. We loved them so much to the extent that they almost became like a twin to us but then they leave sometimes without warning either by death, or abandonment or for some other reason known to them. After going through all the stages of grief here we are, all fine and good for @Jane says, Let time heal all wounds . We have to learn how to be alone for our own good, to learn how to remain grounded in our own essence for in @Lucifer01 voice, if you're comfortable being alone, congratulations you understood the meaning of life! https://read.cash/@Jane/let-time-heal-all-wounds-1446b947
You understand the meaning of life when you come to terms with the truth that whether or not your attached to a person healthily, you will get separated someday. Anyone who comes into your life isn't here to stay. Forever doesn't exist for people, only for memories. Cherish those who're with you now, don't let the fear of abandonment stop you from enjoying what you have now for they'll abandon you someday anyway!!
PS: My cousin's child is currently sucking away at his mother's breast and smiling at me as I type this, does it mean that he somehow got my message? 😂😂
Thanks for reading.
Yours Layly,
❤❤❤
Thank you immensity sir @Olasquare for the sponsorship renewal. Layla is very grateful. More wins Sire. 💖😘
Expecting things from people is one thing, raising their expectations is another.
"Never make a promise you cannot fulfill". The sad thing about most hackneyed phrases or quotes like the one stated above is that they have lost their true value simply because they have become too cliche. Promising things you can't fulfill is something I relate with wickedness like, for real.
One of the reasons people are scared to get into relationships with other people is expectations. As we all know, there's always a degree of expectations present in any relationships depending on the level the relationship is at. One thing people are wary of these days due to how quickly extinct the value "trust" is becoming, is expectations. A person presents themselves as "good" to you and you instantly feel like you can trust them, you become friends with them and end up telling them secret details about yourself, you hear those things from someone else and is heartbroken because you never **expected** your friend to hurt you. Of course next time you will be wary of whom to trust because you've just realised that appearances can be deceptive, that's a lesson learned. Then you find another friend who **promised** never to hurt you thereby raising your **expectations** because you believe that a person shouldn't promise what they can't offer. You trust again and before you know it, your trust is dashed across the wall and your heart breaks again. Which one would be more hurtful to you?
For me, I think it's the latter because you promised me. I wanted to keep my expectations in check but you let me raise them only to shatter them again. That's hurtful. Maybe I might have even told you about my past hurtful experience but you still went ahead with what you did. Because of how lost our society has become, we devalue things that mean everything and chase things that will only lead to our destruction. Ego over reconciliation, exploitation and rudeness over friendship, manipulation over trust. Promises are just words of mouth with almost no substance. Promises aren't something to be joked with because if you look at it clearly, not fulfilling your promise is a form of deception because you made a person believe something that isn't true only to show them that you made a mistake,that's if the promise was broken intentionally.
This also applies to instances we see as "trivial".
Your needshelp with something in your house so you call your friend to ask if she could help you out. She said yes that she will come in the evening time, you said okay and you waited and waited for her arrival but she was nowhere to be found near your house in the evening. You got upset at this and told her about it the next time you met, she says she's tired that's why she didn't come. While that is a valid reason because you never knew what she had to do to make her tired, giving you a phone call would have helped alot because you might cut your expectations, do the work yourself during the day time and everything would be fine, not to mention that she might also be lying about the tiredness, people do that you know, they give you their word and fail to live up to them.
Note that you don't have to say "I promise..." before it is considered a promise, simply giving your word under zero pressure from the receiving end has already gotten you tied.
Another thing that's all too common and often overlooked but also downright annoying is when you have already agreed to go to somewhere with a person at a fixed time and then they refuse to show up, you call them on phone and you hear something like "I just boarded a bus and on my way!" when they have just finished taking their bath. I believe almost all of us have that one friend that does this or maybe you're that type of friend. The truth is that while people consider it funny, it is pretty annoying. You can easily tell me you aren't ready yet instead of telling me that you're on your way already, getting me all tensed up anticipating your arrival anytime soon. That is cruelty.
So guys, promising a person isn't something forced, if that's the case then it isn't a promise. No one should force you into saying something you have no intention of fulfilling but always make sure that once you do make that promise, fulfill it by all possible means, unless there's a valid reason not to.
We all should learn to take our own words more seriously so that people will take us seriously. Words are more important than most of us think.
Thanks for reading guys, I took my penultimate dosage this morning so I am feeling much better now. My two day absenteeism was due to my health which had some impact on my mental health as well.
One love.
Yours Layly,
💖💖💖💖
An almost triggered pneumonia and a bomb explosion.
I woke up from my disturbed sleep in the middle of the night with difficulty breathing. It was my pneumonia which got triggered. I couldn't remember drinking cold water for the past day so I concluded I must have inhaled something that triggered it. After waking up, it was difficult for me to go back to sleep and even if it were possible, I don't dare go back as it could lead to the worsening of the chest's tightness. I was out of drugs so I did what I do in such situations: prop myself up on my back on a pillow as a wedge, this made it subside and the coughing and discomfort became less. I made it to the morning.
A combination of salbutamol, septrin and erythromycin were bought from the nearby drugstore which I took after forcing some breakfast and I immediately went back to sleep, couldn't even do the cleaning. Just then, I felt serious shaking around the area I was lying down. I thought it was hallucination resulting from dizziness but then I heard a loud scream. It was shrill, sorrowful and macabre. There's no way you can hear such a scream without feeling a chill run down your spine. I instinctually felt something was wrong. Then the commotion followed further affirming to me that something was indeed wrong, people were talking incessantly and I could hear distant crying. My sister who was downstairs having a conversation with a neighbour suddenly ran upstairs and straight into the house to the balcony. I followed and there it was, a demolished school building two streets away from ours, a crowd of onlookers and wailing people and traces of blood on the road. At this time the police were yet to arrive and I hadn't the guts to go downstairs to the site of the happening and besides, I wasn't feeling very well and any direct contact with the sun would only worsen it. I entered into the house to lie down when few minutes later, my sister who hitherto also had no idea what happened told me it was a bomb blast. I I entered panic mode immediately and for an instant, my headache vanished, "bomb blast you say?" I asked her as if to confirm that it was a joke. It sounded too gruesome to be true. I have always associated bomb blasts to something way more gruesome in my mind and this is the first time I am experiencing one soo close to where I was. At that point I didn't know what to do. It was still very early in the morning around 9-10am and my uncle had travelled, so I and my sister were the only ones at home at the time. We locked our doors and the balcony door too so we kept peering through the balcony window. I saw students with bloodied clothes crying out to their mothers, I saw a dead man lying on the floor with a cloth thrown around his face. I saw dead bodies been evacuated from the collapsed building. It was too much for me to take and I fell down crying. This was a site I hadn't beheld in a long time.
The police soon arrived and a little order was restored, the crowd dispersed a little, the dead bodies were taken. I could see reporters interviewing some of the onlookers and the policemen. The whole scene seemed like a movie to me. It later came to my knowledge that the man who was surrounded earlier was the person who planted the bomb so it's more like a suicide bombing operation. Then came the rumours that it wasn't a bomb but a gas explosion. I live in the area but to the best of my knowledge, I don't remember knowing any gas station there. The name of the street this happened is Aba road and I live two streets to the right which is Enugu road. I go to Aba road alot on errands and there isn't a place I don't know in the whole street. There isn't any gas station near the school this explosion happened so it sounds really unbelievable to me. Even if it resulted from the explosion of a gas cylinder, I remember knowing that bombs can be made out of gas cylinders. A very touching story I heard regarding the explosion is that four students out of those that died are of the same parents, I can't even begin imagining how the mother would feel. Like who exactly did she offend?
There's a lot of speculations surrounding the incident. Some people say it has something to do with the recent barbaric jungle justice carried out on a girl who's been accused of blasphemy in another state, if this is true then I don't think my level of comprehension is up to the level I could understand how these are linked, it is all shades of stupid to me.
May the souls of the departed rest in peace and may God grant the family of the deceased the fortitude to bear the loss of their loved ones. My sudden illness coupled with this sad incident didn't even allow me to post anything yesterday as I was in a very bad sorrowful mood. Things keep getting worse and worse by the day and only God will come to our aid.
Thanks for reading my friends and special thanks to @BCH_LOVER for the sponsorship renewal.
Yours Layly,
💖💖💖
The death of a friend.
Death comes in the most unexpected of circumstances, leaving us with grief we've never felt before, the grief gets worse if this unwelcomed but inevitable visitor comes to those who we feel we can't live without, people like our parents, siblings, close friends and other loved ones with whom we've maintained close relationships.
As young people growing up, we know they death knows no age and isn't restricted to elderly people only and yet for some reason, we feel that we won't die yet since we're still very much young. The death of a friend, although painful brought me back to the shocking reality that death doesn't care about your age. You might just be reading this article and fall down dead.
There's this friend of mine who, during the last university strike, was always talkative in the class group because of how boring like has become without school at that time. He engaged alot in playful banters with other talkative members of the class in they group. I was also a very active member in the whatsapp group so we'd spend hours chatting online either on the group or outside the group. He was particularly fond of sending numerous data consuming stickers in an attempt to innocently provoke others, a very friendly and funny guy with unmatched interpersonal skills. One day, while the strike was still ongoing, I woke up to a voice note from his mom which had been forwarded to the class group. I then saw a picture of him smiling with a matriculation gown on him, a picture we took a year ago when we were matriculating. I didn't believe it at first as I thought it was some kind of joke although I know he wouldn't go as far as faking his own death, I still wanted to believe that his playful nature had led him to do that.
The notes was then followed by a message from the class rep who officially announced his death to the class members in the class group. All these while my hand was trembling and my phone was shaking seriously in my hands. I dropped the phone to let the news sink in and after slightly recovering, I proceeded to the bathroom to wash my face. On visiting my phone again, the whatsapp group was flooded with condolence messages, I couldn't say or type anything as my mind went totally blank. I chatted my class rep privately to request for the deceased mom's phone number to call her, I gave my condolences and to my surprise, her tone was a bit playful but still one could feel the pain deep down, God! What a strong woman. I cried and prayed a secret prayer for him and asked God to grant his parents the fortitude to bear the loss. He was such a promising young man. He suffered from malaria and typhoid which led to his demise. Prior to his death, his engagements online dropped significantly and since he was my favourite chat buddy, I called to inquire if everything was okay and he informed me about his illness, I never knew it'd become serious since his tone was playful as usual so I thought it was just normal malaria he would recover from in no time. A report after his death said it escalated and led to multiple organ failure leading to sepsis then death.
After the whole thing, I took some time to reflect upon myself. I and the guy were around the same age, I might even be a bit older than him. I was humbled beyond measures. It made me realise the brevity of this life again and again. It is just like the blink of an eye. Death can catch up with anyone at anytime so let's live a life and love without boundaries, live in the moment and forget about the past or future for none of it is guaranteed. It instilled a level of faith in me I still hold firmly.
My dear friend never lived to realise his dreams, but I know he's in a better place now, a place that's above all dreams.
Rest on Mujahid.
May the souls of all our departed loved ones rest in perfect peace. Amen.
Thanks for reading.
Yours Layly,
💖💖💖
Me as a soldier.
Now it's like customary for me to dream almost every night I fall asleep. A good amount of these dreams are meaningless, like dreams you have of yourself drinking yoghurts or flying on a dragon, I even will myself to dream about certain things by merely sleeping with the thoughts of the thing in my head. Some of this dreams however I feel have a meaning, even if the meaning is not apparent to me yet.
So in the most recent dream I had, I was a soldier. Like a foot soldier and we were recruited not long ago by the army. We where immediately sent to war and I fought bravely, killing those I could kill and injuring those I don't dare kill, overall it wras a bloodbath but luckily I came out of it alive. I and my squad mates returned to the barracks on the captain's order while running. We rushed into the large hidden room and all of a sudden, a fellow soldier pokes his hands through the wall racks in an attempt to reach me, and at that time I was leaning on the wall. He almost reached me but I immediately straightened up and before I knew it, he already had a knife in his hands. He screamed for the locked door to be opened and so it was, the captain who seemed to be addressing the battalion at the time looked up at the man but didn't utter a word, he came after me saying that I killed his brother and therefore I must die, saying that he recognised my gloves and they looked like that of his brother's killer (so much for dreams, anyone could literally have the same type of gloves as the guy next door). This fellow soldier dude lunged at me in a real attempt to attack me with his knife and so I dodged, still the captain didn't say anything. We kept at this for sometime and what was actually an attempt of him murdering me soon seemed like a game as it was too repititive. He leaps towards me, I dodge, he does so again, I dodge haha. Crazy right?
I soon got tired of it and decided to take a sit to listen to what the captain was saying anyway, the dude lurked around waiting for an opportunity to lunge towards me again. I looked at him despicably through the corner of my eyes and him, with a snarl on his face, did the "I will slaughter you" gesture with his knife and neck. The lecture soon ended and we were back at it again. We both soon got tired so he stopped, resting his palm on his knees while taking deep breathes. I don't think my name was Layla in the dream because he called a different name I can't recall now to ask me to tell him the truth about his brother's death. I told him that I know nothing of it and the only thing I know is that I didn't kill him. He believed at last and took his leave.
Soon, it was time to embark on another mission. I went to the armoury, reloaded my gun, stuck my backpack with some explosives and went into the war zone again alongside my squad members and that's when I woke up. I kind of felt bad for the fellow soldier whose brother was killed even if it was only a dream. The worst part of the dream was that it was a lucid dream. I woke up not knowing what to think about it. I have learnt not to take my dreams too seriously regardless of whether there's a meaning attached to them. I have these sort of dreams too often that I just laugh them off..
Yeah I know... It all sounds stupid right? Well that's my life when I am temporarily dead haha.
This write up was inspired by an article by @FashTioluwa titled "the last dream I had".
Thanks for reading.
Thanks to my sponsors, up voters, commenters and viewers and special thanks to @yhanne for the sponsorship renewal.
Love y'all,
Yours Layly,
💖💖💖💖
How's your Saturday going?
Good day readstars! I hope you all are having an amazing Saturday! If so I am happy for you, if not I am also happy for you since you're at least alive to witness yet another Saturday!
On hot Saturdays like this, I bring out pile of clothes to wash since there's ample amount of sun to make them dry on time. I make sure I purchase about 5 gallons of water to prevent any hindrances along the line because once I start washing, I don't like to stop.
My washing ended at around 1:00 pm. It was delayed because my annoying aunt saw it the right time to bring her clothes for me to wash alongside mine. It irks me when it is mostly when I have already dedicated the day to washing my own clothes that she always brings hers. I don't mind washing it for her as long as it is a day other than the day I wash mine.
Anyways, after getting done with the washing I took 30 minutes to rest while eating some burnt snack from the mistake my younger sister calls "cooking". It tasted good and awful at the same time, or let's say the after taste was good but the until taste wasn't so good. Anyways I ate it and so, here I am typing away on readcash.
What do I plan to do later today?
I don't really know because I don't have any plans for today. Saturday is the only day when I don't follow my schedule and I usually go to bed super early on Saturday around 8:00pm or 8:30pm. From the way the sun is shining today, there might be rain later in the evening so if my predictions are right, I have plans for the evening then because I am going to, you know, take a bath in the rain hahah just like I love to.. If there's no rain my friend my coax me into taking a stroll with her, well she wouldn't have to coax today because I am ready to go willingly. I am bored as hell already.
Above is a picture of my aloe vera plant. I haven't paid attention to it in a long time as I already gave up on it but what I saw today surprised me because it had grown so big considering the fact that I haven't been watering it. Well on second thoughts, I am not that surprised since aloe veras are xerophytes and have extra high water retaining capacity. I gave up on it when it was young because a goat mischievously found its way to where it was gently placed and ate it all up. I watered it for about a month but it never showed any sign or resprouting. I decided to give up on it but what I saw today renewed my interest in it, I won't use it just yet because it could make me feel kinda guilty for not taking care of it for a month and then using its products for my own use so I am going to water it for a week before using it.. smart move huh? 😅😅
There was a time we use to have fully grown aloe Veras in our backyard and even neighbours come to pluck it for their use, they were all cut down when we had to place a for the chickens. Seeing how this one is doing well, I might repopulate the house with fresh aloe Veras just like it once was.
Thanks for reading.
Yours Layly,
💖💖💖
On regrets in life.
Mistakes are a part of life, they become scary when instead of learning from them we keep repeating them, that's when it is called stupidity rather than a mistake. When we make mistakes that are serious, they may turn into regrets which may linger even long after the mistakes happened. Although painful, feelings of regrets are necessary because they serve as constant reminders for us not to repeat the same mistake which brought about the regret in the first place and also to help us to grow more from they mistakes. However there are regrets we will have to live with for the rest of our lives and that's okay, but then we shouldn't let them define us.
My regrets in life have made me come up with my core belief which, like mentioned in my last article are based upon ***Love and Sacrifice***, that has helped me become a better person both for myself and for those around me. I came up with those beliefs because there was a point when a point in my life when I was tpo selfish to sacrifice for the people I love and I ended up doing serious things that hurt them and me in the long run, the painful part is that they were hurt for something that, on looking back, is unimportant so we can say that they were hurt for nothing. My mistakes have helped me grow and I am proud of them, the only part I will have to live with is the part where they hurt people. If there were a way for me to go back in time and erase that part, I'd give up anything to do so, I try my best to make those people who ai have hurt with my past actions happy now that I am better, that's those with whom I am still in touch, as for those whom I have gotten separated from, there was a time I sought their forgiveness and if I could remember quite well, all those I contacted felt kind of awkward at the reasons for contacting them but they forgave me nonetheless. That's how important it was for me.
Make peace with your past self..
The fact that we have regrets alone makes us better people. The reason is that you've acknowledged that what you did was wrong and that's a step towards correcting it. Those who never admit to being wrong or have no capacity to feel remorse are one of the worst people on earth. These people usually come in the form of narcissists,psychopaths and sociopaths! Regrets to some extent are a proof that you wouldn't want to commit the same mistake again which makes you different from the version of you who committed that mistake, that's growth.
Living with regrets can be depressing. My advice to all those living with one is that the regrets aren't a bad thing and instead of seeing them as such, see them as a tool for growth. If it involves other people, seek their forgiveness, if they do forgive you then it's a good thing. If they don't, please don't despair as God knows you've done your best. Open a new chapter of yoir life and write with the pen of change.
Thanks for reading.
Yours Layly,
💖💖💖.
A damage, a repair and a damage.
For the past three days, I have been having some issues with my phone although not an internal issue it is still annoying. The charging port became faulty and since the power retaining capacity of the phone is rather low, I usually charge it with my power bank at almost all times. Ever since the charging point got faulty, it became impossible for me to use the phone while charging it with my power bank as I have to incline the cable at an angle before it charges, with that inclination I can't do anything so I just let it charge in peace. However I soon got tired of it all and decided to take it to a repair shop to save myself from further stress and my super fast cable from cutting because due to the inclination, it started developing a strain along its width.
The repair shop isn't that far from the house, I gave the dude the phone after telling him its problem and he set to work after rounding up some other client's work whose problem seems to be of the same nature as mine. He unscrewed the back of the phone, took out the panel, took out the charging port and mounted another after which he soldered it carefully to make sure it stuck. He tested it with a galvanometer but it didn't work. I then suddenly remembered that I came with a panel from my old phone just in case as I remember an incident where the panel had a problem and I mistook it for the charging port which made me spend more than I would have spent if it were the charging port. Lost in this thought, the galvanometer indicated a flow of current which means it worked! He assembled back the part, handed the phone to me and I paid and thanked him.
Later in the night, I was having a chat with a friend on WhatsApp and I sent a voice note, the friend said she didn't hear anything but I thought she was bluffing considering the fact that the note I recorded was sort of sarcastic or jokingly mocking, I thought it was just her way of not taking it serious. This morning however I realised there was something wrong when I called my brother, he said he wasn't hearing anything! I could hear him perfectly but he couldn't hear me. It was then I realised that in the process of repairing the charging port, the guy damaged the mic. No wonder! The amount of flame he applied on the panel could melt a rod, I kept quiet because it wasn't my job. I was a bit sad because that wasn't the first time something like this has happened. There was a time I gave some other phone repairer a job but he ended up causing a more serious damage, more serious than the one I paid him to correct.
I didn't take it back because it will only ensue in an argument (it has happened before) and that is what I don't have strength for now, was still, they might tell you to keep the phone with them, hindering your work with your phone and when you come to retrieve it they'll say they aren't done with it, their plan is to frustrate you into giving up so that you will take back your phone. My brother insisted that we go but I just let it go, I know the kind of person he is, he might trigger a fight and I don't want that. I will put another mic maybe tomorrow God willing.
What's your unpleasant experience with phone repairers? Let's hear it in the comment section.
Thanks for reading.
Yours Layly,
💖💖💖
We are all in Love.
Earlier today, I was having a chat with @Aimure I told him I am out of ideas on what to write today, he suggested that I write about my favourite quote and that suggestion made me remember a quote I coined from my personal beliefs. The quote goes :
***"A life without Love isn't worth living, and Love without sacrifice is non-existent."***
~DocLayla.
The above quote pretty much sums up my beliefs and what every action I take is based upon. For me, Love covers a much wider scope than what most people see it as. For me, our very existence on earth is based upon Love.
Having beliefs and values is very necessary, without them, we'd be like individuals roaming and doing things pointlessly on the surface of the earth. Those who have no beliefs or are yet to identify their values find little or no meaning in this life, and just live it as it comes.
For me, Love means doing things for yourself, for others, or for God for the sole purpose that you want to make them happy. We all have those people who are the most important in our lives, for those people, their happiness means more to me than others, and so it goes.
***"A life without Love isn't worth living..."***
The first part of the quote means can be explained as "a life without something worth living for isn't worth living". If you truly love something, you'd live for it and if need be, die for it. For me, the Ultimate Love is God's Love. God's Love is what keeps our existence moving,the very moment it ceases is the very moment we cease to exist. If you feel you don't love anything that much, take some time and think about that thing you truly cannot live without, once you've discovered that then attach meaning to it and let your actions favour the thing you love. Basically, what I mean by Love, with a capital "L" in the first part of the quote is God's Love, without which I am nothing.
***"... Love without sacrifice is non-existent."***
Basically, Love and sacrifice are the same thing, the seperation is made just so we would appreciate more the importance of sacrifice in love, unlike some instances where people declare their love without the willingness to sacrifice. If you aren't willing to sacrifice for the things you love, then you never loved them in the first place. People who declare love for other people and then go about hurting them do not love them, don't let anybody tell you otherwise.
Well that's not the only instance. Everytning in life is based upon sacrifice, or at least when you think of it in that terms, it makes more sense.
Let's say you're a guy who'd **love** to lose weight and get shredded. These are things that do not just happen, they require consistent rigorous exercises over a long period of time to achieve. Along the way, there would be so much pain, giving up unhealthy foods, lots of endurance, lots of patience and lots of exercise for you to achieve that goal. All these are all examples of sacrifices. Maybe you like junk food but you made the sacrifice to quit it so that you can become fit, which you love. As you continue with the exercises and start seeing results, your optimism increases and so does the love for it, as the love it increases, so does the willingness to make sacrifices.
The more we truly love something, the more we're willing to sacrifice for it. The more you love your body, the more you will be willing to sacrifice for it(in the case of the fitness example).
A student goes to school, study hard and sacrifices his leisure, his play, his sleep and his friends because he wants to achieve his dreams of becoming whatever he wants to be. Why does he study so much? Maybe he wants to make money so that he would help his family, why? Because he **loves** them.
This applies to negative situations as much as it applies to positive situations. Imagine a person killing his fellow human beings because of money, that simply shows that his love for materialistic gains have surpassed his humanity, which means that he ***loves*** money so much that he can ***sacrifice*** human beings to get it. He loves money so much that he's willing to do ritual killings. He loves money more than his health that's why he's willing to sacrifice his kidney. It's simple, not so hard to understand.
Seriously everything burns down to Love. Whatever you do in this life, you're doing it because of love, even if you don't love the particular thing you're doing, you're doing it because it will help someone you love. Your present self doesn't like working out, but your future self will be thankful for the effect, your present self doesn't like studying, but your future self will be thankful for the results of studying, you don't like hustling for money, but you do it anyways to help those you love, that's sacrifice.
It's that simple. I am sure if you look closer, you'll see that all your actions are based upon two things : Love and Sacrifice.
So guys, let's love the right things so that we sacrifice doesn't hurt those we claim to love.
Thanks for reading.
Yours Layly,
💖💖💖
Extension of ASUU strike : killing the remaining 10% student in me.
The ringing of my phone made me abruptly wake up from my distressful nap with a headache, it was my friend from school who called to check up on me after reportedly hearing that I was sick. She thought it was something serious and she was all panicky over the phone until I told her that it was just the cluster headache I have from time to time. The headache further worsened when I took a sneak peek into my whatsapp to view status updates when the news came before my eyes : The strike has been extended by a further three months! I was shocked, angry and disappointed at the same time. It was something I wasn't expecting at all especially since the Federal government had a meeting with the ASUU committee and I was hoping they'd come to a positive conclusion. Three months? That's like till August! By then the student in me would have already been dead. I don't think I'd find enough motivation to keep going especially now that I am having other engagements too. My plans have been messed up, and I bet same goes for any Nigerian student out there!
The government cares very little about education in the country. Imagine a student spending 6-7 years in completing a 4 years course! It's not a speculation, it's something that has happened in the country before and from the way things are going now, it could again or become even worse, since the care free attitude of those that should actually do something about it is only worsening. The other day I heard that the labour minister and the minister of state education have each purchased the presidential election form both worth a 100 million naira. Our welfare is the least of their concerns. They are all immersed in the affairs of the upcoming 2023 election in an attempt to gain higher government positions while doing little or nothing for the betterment of the citizens in their current offices. This all goes to show that it is all about them and never about others. It all goes to show how selfish people have taken over leadership roles in the country. If a person cannot be do what is in his ability in his current office, how do you expect them to do better when they attain higher seats?... and to think there are people who will still vote for them is so nauseating!
For my non-Nigerian readers who aren't familiar with the meaning of ASUU, it is an acronym for Academic Staff Union of Universities, a body under which all federal universities function or are part of. They have been on strike since the 14th of February which is about three months ago, now three months have been added already which makes it a total of six months(half a year) except if the strike is called of before then. Remember that we had once embarked on a strike last year which had already added a year to our graduation date, now this making it two years. MBBS, a six year course has suddenly turned into 8 years while four year courses like accounting have turned six years. So sad.. So so sad to say the least.
My advice to all my fellow Nigerian students and those in other countries who are on strike is to find something else worthwhile to do. Our success doesn't revolve around schooling, you might just tap into some hidden talent if we search well enough. Revise your books occasionally so as not to forget what you've been taught in school to avoid being lost when it finally resumes. Please don't stay idle and keep all hustling legit. May God help students all over the globe!
Aluta Continua!!
Victoria Ascerta!!
Thanks for reading.
Thanks to you all for supporting me. Sorry for my inactivity lately, my occasional cluster headache won't let me be.
Yours Layly,
💖💖💖
A break can cause you to break!
Breaks and relaxation are deeply essential to our goals if we truly want to achieve them. They reboot us for when we get back on the grind, are an opportunity to take a step back to introspect on things we have done so far and also a time to do other things we love apart from pursuing goals continuously. All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy they say, but when is it recommended to rest? Personally I don't think there's any specific time a person can rest on because it's something relative. Some need tons of rest to function properly while others just do fine with little rest and their efficiency or level of productivity won't be affected. It's sometimes the case when little rest is achieved where there's suppose to be tons of rest and vice versa.
What prompted me to write this is that lately I haven't been very productive. Ever since the sallah break I find everything and anything difficult to do and that's because I really took it for a break which infact it isn't..... at least for me. I am a person who needs tons of rest to function properly :My body, my brain, my mind, they need rebooting on a regular basis. I decided to take a break off everything for Eid but then in fortunately I was really tired and needed the rest, the Eid break was so short that it wasn't enough for me to rest the way I should.. wait! Did I even rest during eid? The last time I checked I almost worked all night! So you see, my brain is full of fog and I am at a breaking point even as I type this and I for some unknown reason almost had an asthma attack and had to sleep with a pillow to my hip to prevent it from actually happening. My aunt said it was my restlessness and a bit of anxiety and I don't think she's far from the truth. My focus depth has decreased by a whooping 50% and I feel like my laid back self is slowly taken over.... not a very good feeling. It's like putting back on a dirty skin you've shed off a long time ago.
Hitting the reset button.
I don't know if anyone relates to what I wrote previously but I am seriously considering hitting the reset button, like getting everything back to ground zero and then build again. This means that everything will have to be entirely new if I am to keep up with my current state of mind. Sometimes all these things make me feel imprisoned or some kind of a robot who needs rules to function properly but I guess they are very important stuff since one can't just go living life haphazardly without knowing exactly what they are doing. It's an uncomfortable necessity that gets more comfortable as time goes by and more responsibilities are placed on your head.
I remember a time when something similar like this happened when I was on school. I felt like the whole world..*.. my whole world* was crashing right before my eyes and I remember finding myself in a situation where I don't even know the next thing to do while getting distracted in the current task at hand. All I wanted to do was lie face down on my bed with a pillow placed over my head, *the next thing I want to do after that is to lie face down on my bed with a pillow placed over my head*.. Same with the next thing. Lack of purpose and motivation was the other of the day and useless unrealistic and senseless fantasies were the order of the mind. It took an extraordinary amount of mental strength and out of the world level of sheer willpower to be able to get out of that place, it wasn't very easy at all and even at that, I managed to escape with a failed CVS test because I couldn't study throughout that period. I wasn't depressed, it was just that I felt like a giant stone sat in the core of my being rendering me useless and ineffective, maybe that's another form or depression I done know.
Dear reader, are you able to relate with this anyway? Please if you do how did you get out of that place? If the method is a real fast one I'd be glad to hear it, because there are things that need to be done but I can't just bring myself to do them in my current state of mind.
I am sorry for my in inactivity, this is what I have been battling with in the last couple of days, honestly my phone had been the last thing on my mind.
Thanks for reading and understanding
Yours Layly,
💖💖💖💖
Do you care about being liked?
It's cool to be a likeable person. I mean walking into a room full of people waving and smiling up to the ear at you, whispering into the ears of those next to them about your greatness and how much of a likeable person you're, with them wanting to flock around you with attempts to engage you in a conversation one way or the other while giving you an ego boost someone who's new to the room would think you were a celebrity. All these are cool when they come with a price you can afford but what if they come at costs that aren't worth the status?
In our generating of social media, people do incredibly insane things just for people to like or applaud them. They don't care if they salvages their self - respect or nullifies the things they believe in, they just go ahead and do it anyway. People who suffer from a feeling of low self-esteem or self-worth are much more prone to such unworthy sacrifices so that they would feel they are better than others, seek validation from people or want people to like them. The worse thing that can happen to a person is for them to change who they are so that people will like them, they fake who they really are to gain the benefits that comes with such things and when they get drawn into this, they are pressured to maintain that false image for as long as they can. Eventually it falls off as nothing really lasts forever and their true selves whom they loathe so much that they couldn't put in the necessary work to make it better is exposed like a fresh wound whose band-aid has fallen off..
Is being liked even something I should care about?
While it is cool to be liked or loved for who you really are, expecting people to love or like you for your true self is not something I'd recommend as you still care if people like you, just that this time it is for the right reasons. Even at that people are bound to hate you as it is impossible for everyone to love you for your true self. If unfortunately you winded up in an environment that doesn't support your kind of spirit, very few people or no one will like you and then you wish they'd understand you better. You wish that at least one person understands or loves you for who you really are. This creates a feeling of loneliness that can be difficult to cope with.
The most badass and peaceful way to live life is to not care whether people like you or not while being the truest version of yourself. The less you care what others think of you, the more peaceful and happy you are, this is because you aren't doing it for them but for your beautiful self. This also makes you become fearless and stand for what you believe in fiercely without caring what other people think. You aren't ashamed of showing your weaknesses as they do not make you insecure or feel vulnerable anymore. You do whatever the hell want, when and how you want it. You know how that feels like? To put it lightly, it helps the sun rise!!
Life is too short to worry about being liked by others or not. Just appreciate those who truly like you for the real you, and not for something else. Just keep being the person you're now while working relentlessly towards a better version of yourself. That's what this world is about, sharing love to all God's creatures before returning to Him and I don't really think a person is capable of truly loving someone else if they don't love themselves and a person cannot love themselves fully if they care what other people think of them. At the end, those who're meant to be in our lives will always find their way and those who aren't meant to be, will leave even if we wish them not to.
Stay blessed guys!
Thanks for reading.
I am fully back now and thanks to all those who wished me a happy Eid, I really appreciate it. It was really enjoyable!
Yours Layly,
💖💖💖💖
A simple but happy Eid!
I had wanted to post something about the Celebration but I was too exhausted after returning from the visitings that's customary on festive periods like Eid. I couldn't even reply comments nor visit articles, I just came on read, got overwhelmed and logged back out as quickly as I logged in.
It was Eid Yesterday! Eid-el-fitr to be precise. The Eid celebrations stretch up to a week so the festive mood is still on. So I am going to share with you my visit for today.
Right now I am at my uncle's house. He's a sort of father figure in my mother's family so almost all the relatives visit his house during Eid period to celebrate and extend warm greetings. The parlour is crowded with the elderly discussing politics and family matters while I and other female relatives are in the girl's room right now with the children.
The Eid is the simplest I have had in a long time but that isn't surprising since it's Eid-el-fitr not Eid-el-kabir meaning lesser Eid and major Eid respectively. After the cooking, food sharing and everything else women do on Eid, I was quite exhausted. I hastily took my bath, applied some makeup and slept until noon. After that I visited a close friend's house and off we went to another close friend's house together. We chatted for hours while eating chin-chin and meat. When it was night I came back home and crashed again.
Today, we actually thought of some amusement park to visit but couldn't bring ourselves to visit any because we've visited most of them during past Eid celebrations and we felt like it'd be kond of boring. We crave for something novel. I and my sisters decided to visit my uncle's house so here we're with the kids. Not much is done but eating, drinking, talking and getting surprised when a relative I haven't seen in ages suddenly shows up out of nowhere.
The kids have grown bigger and a bit more stubborn(part of growing up!) . The last I saw this girl she was barely able to walk, that's like three years ago.
It wasn't the best but a very happy one. The joy of seeing everyone doing well, the laughter, the kids, the moms, the elders all bring some sort of happy nostalgia. Indeed, holidays spent with family are the best!
Thanks for reading.
Yours Layly,
💖💖💖
Hello my lovely friends.
I wasn't active almost throughout the day on readcash due to the eid preparations. We've been working our asses off the entire day. Thanks for your understanding.
Yours Layly,
💖.
Things I love about May.
Apart from the month being my birth month, it holds a special place in my life. Perhaps the others centre around the fact that it is my birth month. There is always something worth loving about every month and below are things I love about the month May :
A New year and half a year :
I don't know but for me, I celebrate my birthday like I celebrate new year. You know those feelings of renewed hopes New year brings right? I feel them more when it's my birthday. It's something personal actually because everyone's birthday is their official new year so while celebrating with the rest of the world their new year, don't forget to celebrate yours too. You don't have to be loud about it, a simple outing and self spoiling with close friends is way more than enough. Pray for your new age, keep working hard and hope everything turns out well.
Apart from it being my personal new year, I also see it as half of a year. If you look at it May is just a month away from the actual half, which it its succeeding month June. While it's my personal new year to hope for better things and keep working hard, it's also half a year where I stop to record my progress and see how far I have come in the new year. I do some self assessment to see what I need to keep doing and things I have to stop doing. You know they the second best time to start something aside the beginning is halfway, this way you're given a 50/50 chance and it's up to you to maximise the opportunity.
***Now isn't it a unique thing for a month to represent a new year for you and at the same time half a year, which we can all agree are special times in a year we can use to plan how to better ourselves? Well not only is that unique but also beautiful!***
The weather :
Now haven't I mentioned to you guys that I love the rain? Well here in Nigeria and I think most countries in the northern hemisphere experience a full spring. In northern Nigeria which I live, the rainy season takes its roots in May, which means while there might be some rainfall in April, May is the month when the weather change becomes more pronounced as there is more frequent rainfalls and you know what that means right? More opportunities to get wetter and happier! The vegetation becomes greener and healthier which provides healing to the eyes and the air becomes fresher, improving our well being in general. The sweet thing about the rainfall is that it is not to heavy, not to light but just enough to purify the air and water the lands, unlike the rainfall in succeeding months that are so heavy and cold sometimes that they come with ice, not just light snowflakes but real heavy deeply frozen ice that can cause you a serious headache if it were here to land on your head.
The special dates:
As an asthmatic myself, it is an honour having World Asthma Day in my birth month. World Asthma day is a day set aside to create awareness about Asthma, how it can be prevented and also how people who have it can cope better and live healthier lives with it. If it wasn't for the strike action, I'd have given a speech as a spokesperson just like I'd last year on issues relating to asthma just like I did last year. Creating awareness about diseases has always been my passion, that's why I joined the society concerned with that in school.
**World Laughter day:**
Are you surprised? Well don't be as it is quite expected since May is a month full of love and happiness (I sincerely pray it manifest it's true nature on everyone this May 👐😉) and laughter. To think that the day ain't even that far away, makes me more optimistic about this month. The day is on the 3rd of May and just like the day is not far away, I pray that laughter is not far away from you too, not shallow laughter but that which springs from love and happiness! Many more laughter to come guys let's all wait for it!
These are the things I love about May just like there's at least one thing I love about any other month, from January to December. Allow me to wish you a Happy New month filled with renewed hopes, blessings, love and happiness. We all deserve lots and lots of all those and I really wish we get what we deserve sooner. Signing out for now!
Thanks for reading and happy new month!
Yours Layly,
💖💖💖💖
Started it with April fool and the ending with April full.
The month of April is finally full and complete. Tomorrow we begin a new month full of love and blessings much greater than that of April. Today I am going to discuss how April went for me covering all aspects of my life and I'd be glad to read about how it went for you too.
Before I start writing, this month was rather short for me the reason probably being because the whole month was spent fasting. The beginning of Ramadan month in the Islamic calendar coincided with the beginning of April in the Gregorian calendar. Ramadan seems generally shorter for me than other months because apart from the extra worship, I snooze alot!
Readcash earnings and interactions:
With regards to this, I must say that I hadn't any end of the month goals in mind but I was amazed at how much I had made this month which exceeded any expectations I might have had. I earned a total of $95.04 on my articles (including funds spent in upvoting articles and comments) so if I am to seperate what I got at the end of the day for personal use, I think that would be around $75-$80 or so, still that's something I never expected! Congrats to me! As we match into the month of May tomorrow, I will maintain the mindset I carried with regards to my earnings, I won't set high goals but will still put in my possible best. I however hope it will be better than April for me and for everyone else.
I have had more time to interact and make new friends and read awe-inspiring reads on readcash and that helped me gain more subscribers and views on my articles. I think I started April with around 130 subscribers but I m finishing it with 160 subscribers, an additional thirty people! If that isn't an achievement then what is? One could say I gained a subscriber a day throughout the month of April lol.
Academics :
Due to the strike that has been going on for two months now, it is no surprise that the frequency of study has reduced, only that mine got so bad it reduced drastically. I used to study 8 hours a day(including an hour revision) but now I study for less than 4 hours a day, other days I commit the grave sin of going an entire day without studying but one mistake I don't dare make is to let what ai have learnt escape my memory so I don't joke with my revision sessions.
Spirituality :
I know this is not something many of us keep a monthly track on but I spent the whole month in Ramadan so that made me pay close attention to it. The whole aim of Ramadan isn't restricted solely to starving one's self of food and drink but to build a stronger connection with God. I have done my best with regards to that and to God be the glory, I am coming out of Ramadan more self aware and God conscious, it definitely wasn't a waste of time.
Productivity and time management :
The strike action inspired me to become more productive and try out new things even with other responsibilities I have to take care of. I have started learning Spanish while brushing off on my Arabic. You're probably thinking it's hectic already, while that definitely isn't wrong, I don't encounter much difficulty as I already know some Arabic prior and also, Spanish and Arabic are in no way similar so one would be able to distinguish them clearly. If I had decided to learn Spanish and French or Portuguese then I'd be embarking on a suicide mission haha. I have been successful with my journey so far thankfully. I am also planning on developing my artistic skills but that will come later, I believe I have a skill in art but need time to awaken it.
A skill in time management is something I had to develop to cope with all my shenanigans. When a person truly want something he definitely will make time for it. My time management skills are gradually improving although there have been some slips here and there but we keep on making up for lost time. I have overslept sometimes but still I never relent. I believe time management is a skill we all need to develop, probably one of the most important skill one can ever acquire.
So that's all for April guys, I bet you have some interesting stuff you'd want to share too, will love to read them and thanks for reading.
**May** next month be filled with blessings and love you've never experienced and **may** we all live long enough to witness many more months and years.
***Have I mentioned that I was born in May? Yes! Next month is my birthday!***
Thanks to all my sponsors, upvoters, viewers, and subscribers who've been constantly supporting me. Thanks for the love.
Yours Layly,
💖💖💖
What do you want to be remembered for when you die?
It is something I think about often. We always leave impressions whether good or bad whenever we have interactions with people. You might come off as a sassy person with lots of humor to Mr A and a boring, overtly serious person to Mr B. If you're to die tomorrow, Mr A will remember you mostly for your liveliness, humor and laughter and Mr B will remember you for your discipline, perfectionism or seriousness. We present different personalities to different people depending on the kind of relationship we have with them. It's not being fake, it's just the way it is. The face we choose to show people is what they remember us for, for no one knows what your "intentions" as we're not mind readers, what you show is what we believe.
Whatever face I choose to show, I never forget the main thing that matters: not to hurt anyone with my seriousness or sassiness or any other character I choose to display, my core beliefs are always with me and never get compromised, for that's what I want to be remembered for.
Kindness and love:
I love being kind because I belief a life without kindness isn't worth living. I might not be the kindest person on earth but whenever and wherever I can, I always choose kindness. We all are going through one form of problem or the other and it's only fair to be kind instead of being a burden that another person has to bear. I want to be remembered as a person who's kindness is confined to not only those around her, but extends far beyond. I keep striving to make sure people remember me for this and that's one of the reasons I want to make a lot of money, so that I can help people financially, although that's not a prerequisite for kindness but that seems to be the language people understand better these days. I want to be remembered as a person who exudes love like a fountain without caring about whom it falls in. I want to be a vessel of love, an instrument for God's work and be remembered for that.
Fearless and firm:
I want to be remembered as a person who always stand for that she believes in without the fear of being judged or mocked. I want to be remembered as a person who takes pride in her beliefs but also open minded enough to welcome new ideas, a proud woman who fights for her loved ones, attacking like a lioness and ready to devour. A lover of love, a custodian of peace and a pillar on which others can rely on.
A helper to those in need:
One of the reasons I chose the medical line is to help as many people as I can before I die. I have always gotten fascinated and emotional when I visit our teaching hospital to see patients who once lost hope of ever living a normal life again stand on their feet with beautiful warming smiles on their faces... and to think that happened because of your help must give a feeling that's next to none. I love seeing malnourished people get robust again, frail people become fresh again, and sick people become well again. It's like you've become a life giver by the will of the Almighty. I want to be remembered as a good doctor who prioritises the welfare and well being of her patients above all other things. I want to be the reason an otherwise orphaned child gets to grow up with his mother's support, I want to be the reason an otherwise barren woman sees and holds the fruit of her womb in the warmth of her arms, I want to be the reason a cripple, blind or deaf person is able to walk, see or hear again. Money can make you become well again, but the happiness and joy comes from the fact that you can hear again, which you owe to they doctor and to God. Even with the money things go completely wrong and one might end up not getting what they want.
***I want don't want to be the reason faces smile, I want to be the reason hearts smile and I want to be remembered for that long after I am gone. I don't claim I can change the world but my little contributions can help change lives, and I want to be remembered for that.***
Life is too short to give not help people and make them happy when they need it the most. Life is too short to not be happy yourself. Exude the happiness and love that you've never felt before and keep the mirror reflecting at all times, by all means. That's what it means to be human, that's what it means to love and that's what it means to be Love.
I promise, people will remember you for that.
Thanks for reading friends.
Special thanks to my viewers, subscribers, upvoters, sponsors and likes.
Yours Layly,
💖💖💖💖
"Burning the midnight garbage"
The month of April has almost eventually came to a screeching halt(well let's talk about those monthly stuff we do here tomorrow). Good morning fam! It's 2:00 o'clock in the morning here, a bit fresh a bit misty but the air isn't so pure, had a fire burning from the huge refuse disposal wasteland that's far from mh house but somehow still managed to disturb me).
There's been fire burning emitting dense black smoke which is affecting the whole neighbourhood. From time to time, some person (no one can tell if he'd been tasked with the responsibility or not) decides to incinerate garbages especially during the night-time when everyone is either sleeping or trying not to cry from the heartbreak of this world then boom! This dude sets garbages ablaze to provide more reasons for the night crier to cry since the smoke literally gets in their eyes. As an asthmatic person you can tell how this affects me on a large scale. I just couldn't have any appropriate sleep for the whole night. I buried my head inside me pillow, then buried it under, I was even considering slicing my pillow and sticking my head in between then stitch it back up(yes, that's how bad it was!). Facemasks would be of little help so I sacrificed my supply of fresh air from the outside by closing the door. Again, I could sleep because of the heat and was at the verge of yanking ar my hair and scratching off my skin when suddenly my hopes were lifted when the power was restored. Turned out it was a prank as they took it 10 minutes after they brought the power back. In a distraught state of mind I looked at my sister with whom I share a bed, sleeping peacefully and soundly, same applies to every other person in the house too as I seemed to be the only one being bothered by the smoke. I felt jealous and started contemplating the possibility of my lack of deep sleep being a curse to me. You could literally put my sister in a sack, stitch it up and take it away without her knowing that she was put in a sack, that's how deep she sleeps. I myself used to be a heavy sleeper but all that changed when I started attending a boarding house and I haven't been able to go back, not that I want to but it is kind of unfair to not be able to do so on demand or when you need it the most.
I got up from bed and out my room, I unbolted the gate to take a peek outside : the fire was still burning. To be just, it's not like the person did a bad thing by burning the garbages,perhaps that's his job but I also think something should be done as it affects people. Smoke is a choking hazard remember. Maybe he thought that more people will get affected if he burns the garbage during the day than if he does in the night since everyone goes about their daily activities during the daytime. He's destroying the environment more than he's helping it. It wouldn't come as a surprise to me if I am the only one that's being bothered about some garbage burning midnight spree, the thought of this made me a bit sad.
"What more can I do, Imma just go through my phone and study for an hour" so I went through my notifications and drop tips as my eyes are now clouded because of the smoke, they will ache if I attempt to read anything for long. Oh fun fact : I couldn't study and now I know not what to do. I am not in mood to play movies or games on my phone, besides games won't be fun on my phone anymore because of the now faulty sensor so imma just listen to some music. Music sometimes sedate me so I really hope for it to have that effect on me soon. I have switched it on now!
Thanks for reading nd see you late morning!
Yours Layly,
💖💖💖💖
A mango theft story from long ago.
It is believed that our days as students are among the most exciting days in our lives: the adventure, the tears, the laughter, the joy, the spanking (haha). Today I am going to narrate to you one of the many adventures we had as boarding school students.
During my high school days, I attended a boarding house (some of you probably know that already!). Apart from the little foodstuffs our parents give us when we resume, we were fed three times daily. The food was substandard and sometimes, I don't bother going to take the food and just stick with my provisions from home.
My clique members and I have a custom of going to the bushes every Saturday when it's rainy season to pluck fruits like mangos, tigernuts, groundnuts, and buried beans from the Fulani's farm(the Fulani are a nomadic tribe in Nigeria). Saturday is usually a free day when nothing is done, most students do their laundry for the week on Saturdays.
On a fateful Saturday, me and my clique members set out to the bushes as usual to get some mangoes and other things we could collect from the farm, we set out as early as 8:00am having done our laundry on Friday night. We intended to go far into the bushes in search of fresh mangoes as the trees nearby have all been plucked. We dived into the bush with our sacks, kept walking and walking until the sun became unbearable. We plucked large palm fronds to serve as shades over our heads as we continue walking. After walking for what seemed like eternity, we arrived at three huge mango trees, decorated with huge and fresh mangoes. Yes! Finally gotten what we're looking for! We decided to stop and immediately set to work. As an expert in tree climbing, I repeated hopped on branches and soon got to a branch with Juicy mangoes and started hauling them at my friends on the ground who kept stocking them into the sacks we brought. I repeated the same thing as I hopped from branch to branch. I soon saw a thick and long branch with mangoes numbering up to thirty but instead of plucking and hauling them I shook the branch vigorously. I kept shaking until they started falling heavily unto the ground. The thudding sound coupled with our excited screams alerted the farmers who unbeknownst to us, weren't that far from the tree. They arrived in no time with their long sticks and cutlasses threatening to kill us if we move an inch further. I who was still on the tree froze until one of them sighted me and yelled for me to come down which I did while shaking. I took my time so I would miss a branch while descending until I finally arrived on ground level. They threatened to report us to the school authority but we kept begging and crying for pardon for we knew the punishment such offence holds: **an embarrassing spanking in the presence of your comrades on the assembly ground and a suspension letter.** I'd rather they beat us up themselves than report us to the school. Seeing the tears were too much, they decided on another punishment were they told us to pile up the mangoes we plucked and start eating them without water. We agreed and set to work. The four of us started eating the mangoes but what started as something easy soon became something else, it seemed to us that the more we eat the mangoes, the more their numbers increased. I recall eating up to 30 mangoes before all of us burst into tears again. We fell on our knees, with our now large stomachs begging for forgiveness again. It was a funny yet pitiful sight.
They took pity on us and told us to take what's left of the mangoes but warned us to never show up there again. They even gave us transport fare to get back to the school as it was already getting late. With our runny noses and teary eyes, we thanked them profusely and swore never to set foot outside the school again. On getting to school we could "stomach" any more of the mango scent as it became nauseating so we shared the rest among our room-mates. We never told anyone what happened that day to avoid being laughed at. We however laughed at ourselves when we sat down to eat dinner.
I never set foot outside the school premises in the name of looking for mangoes again.
Thanks for reading.
Where you that adventurous or stubborn as I was in boarding school? I bet not!
Thanks to @Mictorrani for the sponsorship renewal.
Accepting your mistakes and receiving criticism.
Yesterday we talked about how to give others criticism in a positive way, how to make it come across as positive and not as an attack, we viewed it from the angle in which you're the giver of criticism, today we will be talking about how to receive criticism.
As a receiver of criticism, a person is more vulnerable as the criticism he is tp receive can come in different forms, both good and bad forms. It is therefore very important to maintain the right state and handle the situation effectively without further proving the point that you're wrong (that's if you're) or try making things look awkward even if it is a case of misunderstanding.
Below are some helpful tips on how to receive criticism positively:
Relax:
The reason I find this helpful is because relaxing can ease off any tension you have in your mind, especially when the criticism is coming from a person you respect. It is also important because in situations were we are in the position of the receiver of criticism, we tend to get defensive, not everyone wants to be corrected and even if you aren't one of those, you might want to relax and free all misconceptions you have to avoid any ambiguities that might surface. Relaxing also reduces the chances of acting on a whim because you feel attacked and this can't be good as you further prove the point that you're wrong or lose your chance to refute the claim if you're right.. So by all means, **relax.**
Listen to the critic:
Now that you're in a relax state you're in a better position to listen and comprehend what the critic has to say. The relaxation is to free your mind and provide space to welcome a different perspective, that's listening. Know that it is okay to be wrong sometimes as we all make mistakes. Let go of your ego and pride. Do not interrupt the critic when he's talking to get your point across as this isn't listening, it comes off as rude. Even when you think they have got something wrong about the situation, let them land first for if you try to chip in you might become defensive, which can be a coat worn against truth and can cloud your reasoning. Letting them land first will allow you to take in all they say and distinguish between what they got right and what they didn't, then you explain.
Ask questions :
If there's something you don't understand, then ask them to clarifications. If there's something you think they got wrong, now is the time to present them. If the critic is an understanding person he will definitely understand you except if of course he wasn't fit to criticise you in the first place. Make yourself understood as you present your feelings and why you did what you did if you think they got it wrong. If they provide good reasons as to why what you did isn't right, accept the correction and try not to do it again. Life is about learning from our mistakes to further improve ourselves, without them there's little or no growth.
Say "thank you very much"
When all is said and you and your critic understand each other and are on the same page, do not forget to thank them very much, if it as offence you committed and it happened to affect them, follow that up with an apology too. It is a very precious thing in life to have people who genuinely care about you to the extent that they correct you when you're wrong to make you a better person. Criticism isn't always a bad thing, it is needed to evolve. Try your best not to repeat the same mistake again since they've pointed it out to you, they may see it as negligence of which they mightn't be any excuse if repeated.
What to do when the criticism is negative and stems from hate or a desire to make you feel bad?
It's very simple:
Ignore them with a smile while walking away gracefully!
Thanks for reading,
Yours Layly,
❤❤❤💖
A failed schedule and a cracked phone screen.
Good morning readtizens!! It's almost three o'clock in the morning here. I went to bed around 10:00pm just so I could wake up to do one or two things but it soon turned out I had quite a lot to eat because I slept right through the stipulated waking time. I set an alarming but it seemed some cockroach decided to stuff my air with invisible cotton wool because I heard not the slightest ringing of the alarm from my phone. Fortunately for me not much damage has been done and the schedule can still be fixed before daytime. Yeah I can fix that but one thing I can't fix is the crack on my phone that suddenly caught my eye on waking up. The crack runs diagonally from the top left to the right bottom. It looks quite deep too. I was surprised when I saw it considering the fact that I didn't have it when I went to bed and also, despite not being a very heavy sleeper, I don't keep my phone where I can easily roll over it and crack the screen... not even under my pillow.
Here, a phone that I have been pampering suddenly decided to get cracked! That sounds crazy to me! This could shorten the estimated life remaining of its lifespan! I am a bit frustrated right now because a mind is telling me that I cracked the phone myself unknowingly, if my alarm weren't able to wake me up which is something that's rather unusual then I must have overslept, who knows, I might have rolled on it cracking the screen. The fact that I saw it next to me on waking up seems to support this theory. Perhaps I slept heavily and collided with the rather tall bedside table on which I keep my phone and it fell on the bed then I rolled? That's all I can speculate for now. It's not like the phone will come back if I figure out accurately how it got a cracked screen.
I took the phone but fortunately saw that it wasn't that affected, that's why I am able to post this article right now but one thing that has become faulty is its screen sensor. The screen sensor is no longer as sensitive as it was before which translates to me having to apply a little more force than usual when writing and doing other stuff. This means that I am likely to spend more time than I used to when writing an article which could affect other things and that's the only thing that breaks my heart. Time is very important to me these days but I don't think it would be a good decision for me to repair the sensor as the sensor of the phone is quite expensive, furthermore it would extend the time I am hoping to purchase a new phone because I would have to take the funds from the savings I am gathering to buy a new phone. I want to make myself the purchaser of my next phone with my hard-earned money. If I am to tell my brother he could get me one but I want to take pride in buying my next phone all by myself. Patience seem to be the only answer for the next maybe two to three weeks, I guess I will be patient enough.
Aside all that, even if I had the money I don't think I'd even repair the phone as all it needs right now is change. It has been repaired over and over. When phones get tired, they might function for the first few weeks after repair and then go back to their former states, that's not something I want.
I have to make up for the time I missed in my schedule so I will visit your articles when I finally balance things out. I just decided to drop a quick one before going about today's activities. Thanks for your constant love and support and understanding.
Yours Layly,
❤❤❤
Correcting mistakes and criticism.
We all make mistakes, sometimes not once, twice but many times because just like in the case of learning, we assimilate in different rates.Some people learn from their first mistakes while others repeat the same mistake twice or more before learning from it, some never learn from their mistakes at all. We learn from mistakes in different ways like taking time to reflect but most times, we need someone else to point it out to us because we're flawed, other times we correct others when we see their mistake because just like us, they too are flawed just like us and that's been human.
Today I wish to talk about ***correcting mistakes and criticism.***
Criticism is generally of two types : constructive and destructive. Whenever we're in the position of addressing someone who's made a mistake or whose flaw in character need to be addressed whether for their own good, for the good of both of you or for the good of society at large, it is very important to not only bear in mind the issue, but also be mindful of the way we present the issue to the person we want to address. When the approach is wrong, the correction means very little and instead of solving a mistake, you end up creating a maybe even bigger one. In this regard, constructive criticism is employed to not only create an environment where the person you wish to criticise will listen to you wholeheartedly, but also increase the chances of them changing for the better.
Below are some tips on how to criticise constructively:
Reason for criticism :
Ask yourself if the criticism is that even necessary. Do you have a good reason to give such criticism? We make tiny slips everyday and we do realise it, we don't usually need someone to tell us what it is we need to do because it was only a mistake. We have the ability to correct ourselves in most things without anyone even telling us to do so. An example of a good reason to criticise is when the subject keeps repeating the same thing over and over again and it seems they don't know what they are doing anymore, and when such actions can be detrimental to them or those around them, then you have every reason to step in.
Start of with a complement :
If it is a person whom you are close to, there's definitely something you like about them because even the worst people aren't bad all in all. Before venturing into calling them out for what they have did or didn't do, you can start by genuinely praising them for the praiseworthy things they have done, especially if it relates to the situation you're about to address, this can make them feel relaxed and more open to whatever it is you want to say. Everyone loves being praised and complemented, just that some of us are modest or don't show it. Do not try to force positivity if there's nothing positive about the situation (it gets like that sometimes) because it might sound not genuine.
Talk to them in private :
In our attempts to correct a mistake we end up making an even more hilarious mistake so, who are we to criticise after that? One of the fastest ways to ruin possibility of them ever listening, even if you're speaking raw truths is to criticise them in front of people especially when it is done destructively. It is like an attack on their self-esteem which can force them to retaliate in defense then you start thinking that "gosh! They're so full of themselves" when you're the one who messed things up from the beginning. Set a time with them, sit and talk with them alone, they're more receptive this way.
Tone:
Instead of adopting the "big-brother" or a condescending tone, use soft speech. We should make our tone as sweet and nice as possible. Don't even make it sound like you're advising them, use a conversation but serious tone and you can even spice it up with some humor. The point is to get your point across. People love being treated nicely and will be grateful to you when you do, even if it has to do with criticism.
By making it sound like a conversation, I mean it should be two-sided. Sometimes the person critiquing can be wrong due to a lack of proper information or perspective in the matter. Give them a chance to say whatever it is they wanna say, this way you make compromises and maximise you chance of getting positive feedbacks. In conversing, where you think they went wrong you can suggest a better approach of addressing the matter, this would make it sound like they're are the one who consulted you for advice rather than the other way round.
That's all for now and I hope we enjoyed it!
Thanks for reading.
❤❤
Maintaining focus: becoming more effort-oriented.
We all want different problems and things we wish to achieve, and our desire to achieve what we wish is shown in how hard we work for it. While working to get the desired goal, we get caught up in thoughts that can be distractive, demotivating or even over exciting. Thoughts that can both push us towards the directions of our goals as well as serve as a hindrance towards achieving this goal. In our efforts to achieve things, a lot of us here visualize ourselves already attaining the desired object and wonders what it feels like. We sometimes get too caught up in this daydream that we forget that to get there, we will have to put in effort. Depending on the thoughts we have, they can either make us develop traits like : overconfidence in one's ability, unnecessary excitement, conceit, feelings of doubt, obsession and the lack of ability to remain level headed, all these things make us lose focus of our main goal before we even get there.
**Allow me to tell you a story with an example:**
When I was in my first year of medschool it wasn't all that different from high school, we were taught physics, biology, maths and chemistry. It was all simple for us since those in medicine are usually seen as the "geniuses" so it went quite smoothly. As some of you know, no one feels more like a doctor than a level one student. They boast about being "medical students" without even being asked, Infact you can see it from their naive fresher attitude but they still get cut some slack, for they know not what they are doing....it's totally normal, all of us have passed through this stage but some people get retain this attitude even after proceeding to successive levels, if care is not taken this mirage of uncertain success of becoming doctors may lead to them becoming distracted and instead of putting more hardwork, they fall the track and get withdrawn. This is a personal example of how focusing more on a probable future success can lead you to not achieving it all together, due to conceit and overconfidence that comes when a person rests too much on his laurels. These are all as a result of invasive thoughts.
These distractive thoughts can also come in the form of self doubt. It comes when you start thinking about what might or might not happen. You start thinking "what if I don't achieve this? What will become of me?". These are thoughts that could keep recurring if we think too much of the results of our efforts or when we spend more time that we should have channeled into our efforts envisage the future success that's not gonna come anyway if the effort is neglected.
Here are few tips I use when I encounter such problems both in my academics, my social life and even here on readcash :
Focus on the efforts:
Especially in this age, distractions are a dime a dozen. All you need is a few clicks and you're done for! Once you're done clarifying what it is you truly want from the work you're doing (which is very necessary!), don't think about the outcomes much. I am not saying you should be okay with failure but sometimes anxiety set in when we focus more on the outcomes than the efforts itself. This can make us start doubting our abilities and we even become erratic at times.
Relating to my studies at this moment I feel kind of nervous when a person refers jokingly to me as "Dr". Even among my course mates where it is quite normal for us to use that term, I feel nervous. I feel like it makes me think too much about the future instead on focusing me more on the task at hand to truly become a doctor. Of course there's nothing wrong with that the "Dr" part(look! I even go by DocLayla here on readcash) but when it gets too much, I dislike it really haha. That's just me.
Live in the moment :
Sometimes even when we get too immersed in efforts relevant to our success, we still get invasive thoughts. This is when we have to live in the moment. View all invasive thoughts as a different entity and disassociate them from yourself. Remember you're not the voices in your mind.
Right now I am trying to purchase a new phone with my earnings on readcash because the current one is giving me serious issues after several frustrating repair trips. I am really working hard for it, but sometimes when I set to reach a target by the end of the day and fall short, I get invasive thoughts. "What if this phone gets damaged without me saving enough money to purchase a new one?" but I still try not to get too involved in it. I instead stopped looking at my earnings and just visit and tip articles every four hours while keeping myself immersed in other activities in between those hours. At the end, what will be will be regardless of weather I get anxious or not. Live in the moment.
This article is in no way insinuating that you shouldn't record your progress in relation to your success, far from it. Thinking about success and expecting it can even boost your motivation to put in more effort but when you act like the success is the most important thing, you miss out on other things. Do not forget that the effort you put in is also part of the success.
Thanks for reading and thanks to my upvoters, sponsors, viewers.
Special thanks to @foryoubtc09 for the sponsorship renewal.
Yours Layly,
❤❤❤❤
@DocLayla
