Expecting things from people is one thing, raising their expectations is another.

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1 year ago

"Never make a promise you cannot fulfill". The sad thing about most hackneyed phrases or quotes like the one stated above is that they have lost their true value simply because they have become too cliche. Promising things you can't fulfill is something I relate with wickedness like, for real.

One of the reasons people are scared to get into relationships with other people is expectations. As we all know, there's always a degree of expectations present in any relationships depending on the level the relationship is at. One thing people are wary of these days due to how quickly extinct the value "trust" is becoming, is expectations. A person presents themselves as "good" to you and you instantly feel like you can trust them, you become friends with them and end up telling them secret details about yourself, you hear those things from someone else and is heartbroken because you never expected your friend to hurt you. Of course next time you will be wary of whom to trust because you've just realised that appearances can be deceptive, that's a lesson learned. Then you find another friend who promised never to hurt you thereby raising your expectations because you believe that a person shouldn't promise what they can't offer. You trust again and before you know it, your trust is dashed across the wall and your heart breaks again. Which one would be more hurtful to you?

For me, I think it's the latter because you promised me. I wanted to keep my expectations in check but you let me raise them only to shatter them again. That's hurtful. Maybe I might have even told you about my past hurtful experience but you still went ahead with what you did. Because of how lost our society has become, we devalue things that mean everything and chase things that will only lead to our destruction. Ego over reconciliation, exploitation and rudeness over friendship, manipulation over trust. Promises are just words of mouth with almost no substance. Promises aren't something to be joked with because if you look at it clearly, not fulfilling your promise is a form of deception because you made a person believe something that isn't true only to show them that you made a mistake,that's if the promise was broken intentionally.

This also applies to instances we see as "trivial".

Your needshelp with something in your house so you call your friend to ask if she could help you out. She said yes that she will come in the evening time, you said okay and you waited and waited for her arrival but she was nowhere to be found near your house in the evening. You got upset at this and told her about it the next time you met, she says she's tired that's why she didn't come. While that is a valid reason because you never knew what she had to do to make her tired, giving you a phone call would have helped alot because you might cut your expectations, do the work yourself during the day time and everything would be fine, not to mention that she might also be lying about the tiredness, people do that you know, they give you their word and fail to live up to them.

Note that you don't have to say "I promise..." before it is considered a promise, simply giving your word under zero pressure from the receiving end has already gotten you tied.

Another thing that's all too common and often overlooked but also downright annoying is when you have already agreed to go to somewhere with a person at a fixed time and then they refuse to show up, you call them on phone and you hear something like "I just boarded a bus and on my way!" when they have just finished taking their bath. I believe almost all of us have that one friend that does this or maybe you're that type of friend. The truth is that while people consider it funny, it is pretty annoying. You can easily tell me you aren't ready yet instead of telling me that you're on your way already, getting me all tensed up anticipating your arrival anytime soon. That is cruelty.

So guys, promising a person isn't something forced, if that's the case then it isn't a promise. No one should force you into saying something you have no intention of fulfilling but always make sure that once you do make that promise, fulfill it by all possible means, unless there's a valid reason not to.

We all should learn to take our own words more seriously so that people will take us seriously. Words are more important than most of us think.

Thanks for reading guys, I took my penultimate dosage this morning so I am feeling much better now. My two day absenteeism was due to my health which had some impact on my mental health as well.

One love.

Yours Layly,

πŸ’–πŸ’–πŸ’–πŸ’–

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1 year ago

Comments

People usually make promises they know they aren't going to keep just to get what they want from you. Some people actually thought they will be able to fulfill a promise when they say it but due to some circumstances, they find out they can't keep to it. That one is not so bad because at least the person had intentions of keeping to the promise, the ones that are worse are those that just make promises while having it in mind that they are never going to keep to them

$ 0.01
1 year ago

Promises made with the intention to fulfill them can still be fulfilled at a later date, because it has now become an obligation once there's an utterance unless the to whom you made the promise has forgiven you.

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1 year ago

Well, I do know what the broken trust feels like. It's heartbreaking, particularly when it's someone you really thought was close to you and particularly when you have trust issues to begin with. On the other hand, I must confess, I have a huge issue with time management, so I might tell the occasional white lie and say I'm halfway there when I'm just out the door. (I'm sorry!) I see how this could be hurtful to the other party though and if I am being totally honest, I don't like when it's done to me, so I must work on correcting this in myself. I hope all is well with you physically and mentally, my friend. Keep good.

$ 0.02
1 year ago

Heartbreaking is an understatement really. To find a person you can really trust is very rare. Thanks Trifecta. Hope you're well too.

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1 year ago

Many times I am always guilty when I make a promise and I can't fulfill it due to some circumstances but I would definitely do it even if the time elapses. I love keeping people in mind and I know they are depending on me since I promised and failing them would make them hurt and that would definitely spoil my integrity.

$ 0.01
1 year ago

That's a very good thing to do Princess. Sometimes things go beyond our control. Explaining things to people would help a great deal so that we don't hurt them. Willingly leaving promises unfulfilled is what makes it worse.

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1 year ago

You're right, words are more powerful that we think but people just won't know this and still make promises they fail to keep.

$ 0.01
1 year ago

That's very sad indeed. Promises are meant to be fulfilled. If we break them unwillingly we should always make up for them.

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1 year ago

I've seen a lot of people that will force you to promise them something. When you tell them that you don't have, they can stand on your neck. They will make sure that you promise them that thing and when you're not able to provide it, you'll look like a bad person and they begin to talk bad about you

$ 0.01
1 year ago

Don't. Never let someone coerce you against your will. Besides you have no obligations to fulfill a forced promise.

$ 0.00
1 year ago

Some people are very good at forcing others to promise them what they can't afford and at the end of the day, the person will regret it.

$ 0.01
1 year ago

Then that's not a promise. Promises are made willingly. If you have to be forced then there's no obligation to fulfill it

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1 year ago

Sometimes people take benefit of our compulsion and make us promise the things we don’t want to and thats completely wrong but as you said once promise is made then we must fulfill it

$ 0.01
1 year ago

Those we should always look out for. No on should be forced to do what they don't wanna do.

$ 0.00
1 year ago

Exactly

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1 year ago