Birthdays are not a big deal to me anymore. Maybe because I really couldn't care less whether I live or die. And I find it funny that at 23, I can say I've had enough of life. But I'm still trying to live my days cause God is not calling me home yet. I've questioned him lots of times why I'm still alive and He gave me answers.. ones that I didn't want to accept. Haha! Cause of a selfish heart. It's amazing how He still uses me. And last year, I made a poem for Him on my birthday. Today it's still as real and valid cause I'm still kind of suicidal but living by His grace. JESUS You saw me there as I dwell in that dark place You saw my resentments and my deepest hurts No one truly understood why I am the way I am But you saw me and you offered me deliverance Oh! how sweet is Your name to my bittered soul You rescued me when I felt everything is futile I used to have no purpose, no pleasure in living But now I live... I live because you gave me life JESUS you are my constant, my hope, my glory I put my joy, my confidence on no one but You I know in Your hands I will never ever be lost You had secured me in your blood at the cross How great is my joy and my confidence in You! You are beautiful, the fairest among all that is Life-breather, Joy-giver, the Lover of my soul I stayed, I'm still here and You are the reason #LoftyThoughts