We're not new to the fact that relationships or marriages end every day, it's called 'breakfast' by the Nigerian netizens. Gone are the days where the number of months spent in dating or courtship amounted to the length of the supposed forever. These days people who date for even four years end up getting divorced less than two years after due to differences they can't reconcile.
Does that mean that a long-term relationship isn't worth it since the duo won't be able to know each other despite being together for that long time?
I have a friend who's totally against dating for more than one year, according to her, it only leaves room for sinful acts (she's a firm believer in no sex before marriage). She believes no matter the number of years, you can't completely know a person but you should always watch out for the red flags.
There's this old couple I know, they've been married for over fifty-five years now. About 7 years ago, the husband was quickly rushed to the hospital because he was choking. Apparently, when he was trying to put off his artificial teeth, he choked on them, I'm not sure how he managed that as the teeth aren't small one bit.
The children were all surprised, they didn't know their father used artificial teeth, they confronted their mother about this and she admitted that she only found out almost thirty-five years into the marriage.
Thirty-five years! This shows that you can never know a person completely, how was he able to hide that?
With this realization, is it safe to say that short-term relationships are the best? I mean, you can't completely know a person, why bother with long-term ones?
I asked someone else about this and he explained that long-term relationships can't help to know everythinggggg about a person but it can at least narrow the differences down.
Like one of my friends said paraphrasing "Marriage/Relationship is mostly about comparing their differences. The context of relationships is that the two parties have their similarities and differences, so discovering that and being okay with it is what makes relationships work. The things in common can always change but the differences cannot."
I honestly agree with him, tell me if you think differently.
This gave me a completely different view, does this mean that two people need a lot of time to know their major differences and work them out?
But then I thought about people who date for a long time and still get divorced barely a few years into the marriage like the example I gave before. During those years, didn't they have time to trash out those differences?
That then made me conclude, that I think it has to do with the parties involved. It's the individuals involved.
Naturally, some people can be closed off, you think you know them but you really don't. If they don't let you know certain information, you can't. It could be that they don't feel comfortable enough to let you know or some other reasons best known to them.
So it depends on the people in the relationship, some people get married impulsively barely two months into the relationship and they'll work it out.
The funny thing is the irreconcilable differences can be extremely petty things like light on or off while sleeping. Sometimes it can be absurd to think marriages end because of that.
Do you think differently? Please do share your thoughts below.
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May 15th, 2022.