Is it all in the past?

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'It's all in the past' but is it?

I'll answer this question based on what I think.

The past.

The past refers to events that have already taken place. Something that has already happened. I think the past very much plays a role in our present or future.

For example, in research methodology, we do what is called 'literature review' which entails looking at past works of people who have done similar works to your intended research topic and looking for research gaps which can then be your research aim.

The relevance of the past

I know that judging people based on what they've done in the past is wrong because some might have made decisions that they regretted, we've all made decisions that we regret but then I've seen people make certain decisions, act careless with certain things, and come out to say it's in the past and claim to say they've changed.

I don't believe people change.

I've also heard people claim that the present only matters and that the past is in the past and should be left there. I don't quite agree with that especially when most of those events are intentional.

Do you think the past matters in your present or future?

Yes? No?

Hold that thought.

'What prompted this topic?' You might wonder.

My case study.

I had a conversation with my friend one time, she said she didn't believe in throwing all caution in the air, she meant living all your life fully in terms of sexual liberation before settling down, it was bound to catch up with you one day.

Citing this popular Netflix series 'Sex and life'. It tells the story of a young mother with two children living a stable life with her husband. Her life was enviable to some but she was bored.

She was bored because before she met her husband, she had wild relationships but she was mostly heartbroken at the end of it all. She said she had done about 73% of the styles in the Kamasutra unlike in her marriage where intimacy seemed like a routine. She was used to everything wild so the routineness of it bored her. She wanted spontaneity. She had been heartbroken when she met her husband, she was tired of men that broke her heart, he offered stability, and she took it.

That kind of life would have been normal for some except that she had experienced a lot. She cheated on him and he found out but forgave her and tried to be wild as she wanted but it never worked out and she still cheated. Some things aren't just meant to be.

The same goes for guys who say they want to live their best life before getting shacked down by the chains of marriage but end up unable to be faithful. Their past events end up interfering with the present.

My thoughts

This doesn't only have to do with relationships, in our day-to-day activities. Our past helps to shape us, our past actually matters. That's why I feel we should be intentional about our actions. We should make efforts not to do things that we'll be ashamed of for years to come, at least in things we can't control.

Is it all in the past? I know people that their past caught up with them. The little act of stealing that put them in trouble, the harmless flings they had, the manner they approached people affected some things in their lives positively or negatively.

This is why I consciously do anything these days, I am very intentional in my actions, I know the things I do now make up my past someday. I avoid certain things and gatherings because I don't want them to be part of my past later in the future.

I was talking to @Greatwolfman today, I firmly believe that people don't change as I stated earlier but then the conversation made me realize that maybe people do change, maybe it isn't all that noticeable but being intentional about decisions and the kind of value we choose to instill in ourselves can go a long way in making us better people, with time we'll see that positive change.

What do you think of my thoughts? Do you agree differently? You can share your thoughts.

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Happy December 😁

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©Deeepensiverse.

December 2nd, 2021.