Confused Emotions-A poem

Here I am On a gloomy day Trying to find me Like how is it possible for someone to lose themselves without even knowing it I am trying to pen my emotions But I can't seem to place the feelings Right now I feel like a canvas with lots of colours that don't unify Everyday gets worse than the previous It's even worse 'cause am no bon vivant Well I don't blame anyone who left me Who would want to stay with an unstable time bomb Some days I like to think it's the bitter feeling of worthlessness Or the burning feeling of not being wanted Or is it the longing feeling for love Funny how I'm full of contrasting emotions But I will keep hoping I get over this killing emotions I will rise high above them I will learn to control them And I'll turn all this messy color patches into a beautiful rainbow from an illuminated soul