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I am not getting married again, enough of this deceit. Don’t tell me otherwise.
I am tired of this unending web of lies and deceit that is coated with the greatest human weakness called Love. I don’t care how you will see me or what you will think about me as you are reading this article but the truth is that I don’t think I am getting married again. All my life I have believed that love is the sweetest gift anyone can give but in recent times and with series of reoccurring events, I have chosen to think differently. What is love when you cannot hold on to trust on the side of your partner? Has love become so cheap that anyone can buy and do with it whatever and however they want? It is so heartbreaking how we have turned love into a mere thing of the lips and not of the heart. I would not fall into such a web of deceit all in the name of loving someone who has prepared her mind to always play with my emotions on the things of love. It may sound so strange to you, but I know that I am not the only one in this mess called love. I would apologise to those who are enjoying true love but I would want to ask them this question; are you truly loved by your partner or are you just a victim like some of us?
The moment of Truth
If I have ever believed in the four-letter-word called love, I think I need to think twice just to be sure that I am not just swimming in an ocean of lies. There is no need for you to try and convince me otherwise because each passing day, I see more reasons why I should not bother myself about marriage. My only challenge is that I love kids so much that I would want to have one or two from my loins if not, it would be a total no for me when it comes to marriage. The most worrisome thing about it all is that these people who have kept their partner in this deep ocean of lies will be seen professing fake love filled with wickedness. I have asked myself this very question time without number; how can you say you love someone and yet you dare to hurt them? Is that true love or is there something else I need to know about love? After the entire statements the holy bible made about love, I believe it is either the bible was talking about another form of love or there is something else we all need to know.
What have we been doing wrong when it comes to love and marriage?
I have tried for so long to understand why someone who just finished exchanging her vows of fidelity to her partner will comfortably go to cheat on that same person without a second thought. It is terrible the way they will lie whenever they are caught. It is even more painful when they decide to keep that dark secret in their heart and yet they will be telling their partner “I love you” at any given opportunity they get. If I am to say, it will be best that we look at marriage from another angle just like it is been done in some parts of the world already. If you feel you cannot commit to loving that person with your whole heart, then you can go for a contract marriage or relationship which will have clauses that may give you the freedom to do anything you want. As funny as it sounds, there is a lot of marriage where both the wife and the husband have separated within their hearts but for the sake of the kids and family members, they will continue to live together in pretence.
It is not as if I have not tried as much as I can to condition my mind not to give up on love but the truth is that it gets worst with each passing day. Once you wake up in the morning and listen very attentively you will hear another story of how a man or woman was caught cheating the other partner. It has gotten so bad that this day’s people do not frown so much at it because they are already getting used to hearing such news. Last night, as I was going back home from church service, I saw where a group of persons gathered around a car, out of curiosity, I inquired from one of the bystanders what the problem was. He pointed at the car and as I looked, I saw two persons who were seating in the front roll of the car, both were adults, a male and female. What struck me was that they were both holding so tight on each other cloth in form of fighting and when I looked closely, I noticed that the man was already bleeding from his mouth while the woman’s left eye was already swollen. Now, I was totally confused but I managed to ask the guy who pointed to the car what was happening. He looked at me and said; “they are fighting because the wife caught the husband looking at another lady as they were driving”.
I could not believe my ears because it sounded like a fictional story but when I left that place because every effort to get them to stop proved abortive. As I got home, I began to wonder why such a thing as little as looking at another lady could make a husband and a wife engage in a public show of disgrace. One thing came to my mind and that is, it is either that the woman has caught the husband cheating before which has opened up her insecurity or it is because they were having an already heated argument which made the woman attack the man the moment she noticed that he was looking at another lady. From what I found out, the woman was the first to launch a blow on the mouth of the man which made the man retaliate with a blow on the left eye of the woman.
As if my night was not already having a bad end. I received a call from one of my female friends who called just to check up on me and as we were discussing, she told me about how a man she met at a wedding ceremony has been on her neck. At first, I told her it was a good thing but when she told me who the man was, my jaw dropped. I bet you will not believe that the man who is seriously asking my friend out on a date is the same man whose wedding reception she attended on that faithful day. In case you do not understand, the man asking her out was the groom she attended his wedding just last weekend. I asked her the groom managed to get her phone contact. She told me that one of the suit men came to her and after talking with her asked for her contact which she gave out of free will but she did not know that it was the groom who sent one of his suit men even as he was seated beside his beautiful wife in the presence of everybody. Even though I understand that my friend is so beautiful that her beauty can make a man deny his identity, I never imagined that a man whose wedding was not up to a week old would try to pull such a stunt with another lady.
I had to think so deeply about these two case scenarios and after careful consideration, I found out that the problem is not far-fetched. We all know and understand what the problem is but the issue is that no one wants to talk about it because we believe we are already beginning to accept it as a norm in our society. The problem is that we do not marry out of love rather we marry out of who is ready for marriage. You will see a girl who has been in love with a man who loves her in return and has proven it time without number, but the challenge is that the man is financially not ready for marriage. Now, this lady who feels that her time is fast ticking will see another man who she knows does not love her but is ready for marriage propose to her, she will gladly say yes without any second thought and after a week of marriage, she will start complaining about infidelity and the rest. It is high time we started looking at marriage from the angle of true love and not from the angle of who has gotten ready for marriage. Until that is done, I don’t think that marriage is for me except she proves to me that all she has for me is true love and nothing more.
I love you all and please marry for love and not for anything else.
This post is very lengthy and I want to appreciate you for reading it to the end. Thank you for stopping by.