@Charlotte 12 November 2021 more from that month

The sadness I felt awhile ago (1-4am) is so frustrating. Now, I woke up alone again. My mom is at work, she's a night and morning shift (12 hrs duty). She went to work last night (11pm) then supposedly she'll come home at 7am today but because her co-nurse asked her to cover for her, she'll come home at 3pm today. My sister already went to work. My niece and nephew went to their grandparents (father side) yesterday and will be there for the rest of the week. Being alone is never a problem to me, I like it I can spend more time in a peaceful place. But not now, just not now. The difficulty of sleeping last night is because I'm longing for someone. Also, the fear of someone will broke into our house since my sister and I is the only one here last night. Another thing is my mom went to work on her own and we can't walk her to the hospital since my sister was also sick yesterday and I was really worried if she's already at work or not. I think these things made me think of dark thoughts and unexplained sadness. I wanted to message her but I don't want to worry her - me being paranoid at 3am :((