The answer to that is pretty easy... I don't know. The unrealistic expectations movies have given us in finding "the one" for ourselves by always showing the same "love at first sight" bullshit has ruined what it really is all about. It's not just meeting someone and facing minor hiccups for a months and then eventually, always getting the girl or guy. It is very easy to ruin a perfectly good relationship by fostering unrealistic ideas of love or you might just push yourself into thinking someone is "the one" just because your story with them is very similar to some romantic comedy.
The other issue with these Hollywood inspired relationship is the added superficial behaviour in your arsenal. You will only look for someone you can actually justify using "love at first sight" for. That is again, bullshit. "The one" should be someone you're comfortable with, someone you can talk to about anything, someone you miss when they're not around, someone you can't see sad, someone you can rely on, someone you know will be there for you and not someone with 1800 likes on every Instagram post. Attraction is obviously important and cannot be disregarded but if that's all it is, that person ain't the one.
For the longest time, my idea of "the one" was quite similar to these movies. I alway thought I will have a weird story with some girl which will be identical to any one of my favorite movies and it reached a point where I just starting comparing myself to these movies and thought if my story isn't movie worthy, then the entire thing is not worth it and it's time to let it go. As stupid as that may sound, it gets worse. My obsession with these movies reached a point where I would try to recreate movie scenarios in real life and even though it's not that hard to do, all it does it blow up your expectations or a very high level which is really hard to reach and I believe, with no statistical data whatsoever, that 83% "movie-based relationships" fail.
How to know who the one is shouldn't be that difficult but it is. Mostly you think you know but this cannot be a unilateral connection and it has to ba a strong link from both sides. An easy way to find out if he or she is the one is to imagine your life without that person and honestly to see how important you really are to the person as well. If your "one" doesn't think you're their "one" then it really defeats the purpose of finding the "the one".
I have been a very strong believer of "the one" for the longest time and my expectations were always realistic and luckily my movie obsession did not change into me obsessing over a girl just because it seemed like the story of a binge-watched movie on Netflix. I had my criteria for "the one" thought out long back. My criteria was pretty basic, someone I can't live without, can't see sad, can't keep my hands off when I'm with her. That's all I needed really.
Now luckily my "one" is someone I have trusted for years, was one of my real confidants and not just a gossiping friend, someone I was always attracted to, someone who just made me forget that other people exist, someone pretty, someone super smart, someone always willing to try new things with me and someone just like I knew I wanted. Ever since I've been with her, I have realized what I want in life and that's not limited to from my relationship with her, I just found my voice of reason and my calming presence and a million other things in such a tiny person. The amount she helps me unknowingly is amazing and I just wish she could see what she means to me. Now I can go on about her and my 1000 word limit will be crossed so I'll just conclude by saying I'm super lucky that my "one" has reassured me of the whole finding the one process and I found mine.
Author's Note :
Good day!
How's your day? Is it good or nah? 😁 I hope you feel good. By the way, this is a fiction story hope you like it. Muaahps💋😊
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We really have to do away with what we see in movies or read in books. We have to write our own book and direct our own movie. We don't live by the rules all the time. Sometimes it just takes the willingness to experience.