My last 1,000 Words

1,000 Words

That's all that I have left. That's what I've been told anyways. I'm not sure what exactly it means though. So, I guess I should get to it, you know saying my goodbyes and what not.

Okay, first off, I am terrified. I have put up this front that I'm okay with dying, that it isn't scary and that everyone eventually kicks the metaphorical bucket of death. I am not okay with this. There were things I wanted to accomplish and things I wanted to do, people I wanted to meet, places I wanted to go, and things that I wanted to experience. I don't know what is going to happen when my eyes close forever or maybe I'll be like people in crime shows and die with my eyes open. See! I don't even know if my eyes will be shut when I die. This is a lot to process. I am dying, I could be dead at any moment, and that is something I don't think I will ever come to terms with. I just hope I can haunt some people just for laughs. Hopefully I get to be a ghost and have other ghostly friends. I am wasting my time left, so here I go any second now, ready to plunge into my depressing goodbye's to my loved ones. Oh please loved ones, forgive me for not having enough time or brain space to write and tell you everything I wish I could say.

I'll start with my parents because that seems like who I should say goodbye to first. Mother and Father, you did the 'thing' and thus I came into being. You guys fell in love and birthed me then Yuna, my darling sister. This feels weird, like I won't actually be gone. I'll wake up in the morning to everyone rushing around and talking loudly and be irritated with your noise. Only tomorrow morning that won't happen. I will be gone, becoming increasingly colder as minutes pass. You guys will cry over me, at least I think that's what people do when others die. You guys raised me well, and I am always thankful for that. Oh God, I don't want to leave. I don't want to die before you. I need you guys to guide me still. You are my family and I love you two to death. This is a lot to deal with and you guys have been strong throughout this mess. There aren't words to express how lucky I am that I got you two as parents. You helped shaped me into what I know you always saw and what I know see is a good person. Thank you and I'm sorry that I must leave you.

Yuna. You annoy the poop out of me. I love you. I'm sorry I won't be there to see you do all of the great things that I know you will do. You will go above and beyond anything I ever could've done. You are an amazing person. You have bravery and strength that I wish I could have still. You have always amazed me with how good of a person you are. Even when we would scream insults at each other, I loved you with all my heart. I am so lucky to have gotten you as my sister. I wish I could stay around longer to watch you mature and grow and watch you become even more astonishing. I hope you live a long life filled with laughter and happiness. I know you have the strength to go on knowing your sister is no longer with you. I know this because I have watched you use this strength against ever single person who tired to tell you that you were not right in the head and every single person who pushed you around. You are stronger than I could have ever been.

Karen. My love and my bestfriend. I know you will cry when I am gone, I wish you wouldn't, but I know you will. Please don't shut out the people who care about you. I will always be with you, I promise you. I could easily use all 1000 words on you but I can't because there are others I need to say goodbye to. Man, did I love you. I still love you. I'm sorry that my passing will be me breaking your heart. I know you will survive though, look at everything else you have survived. You are a hero. You have been beaten down by the world so many times and yet you still stand strong, that is something I will always admire about you. I'm sorry I had to go and die on you, you have to admit that it is pretty lame of me, huh? You will always be my giraffe. I will always thank the universe for letting it spend a few years of my life in your company. Thank you for loving me back as much as you despise the world around you. I love you.

Haley, my bestest of friends. We met so young and our friendship has stood the test of time and distance. Now here we are at our bitter end. You have done some amazing things in your life and one of them is standing to be my friend for this long. You have made me laugh at stupid things and made me appreciate life a little more and helped me notice the little things. You are the bestfriend that I could ever ask for. I am so sorry that I can't be at your wedding or see you graduate college. I hope you smile at the little things still and laugh just because you can. I hope you continue on the path you're on now. You make everyone a little brighter. I love you and thank you.

By the way, cremate my body and make me into a diamond. Thanks. Much love.

Notes:

Another Fiction story 🥰. I'm used to writing fictional stories so this is what I always write. I hope you don't get bored with my fictional stories, guys thank you all very much 😘❤️

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