@Burnok 28 March 2021

The Adulting Bridge

**Age is not the matter—it is always the perspective.**

*I will be turning 20 next month and I feel mixed emotions about this thing. I try to think deeper but the more I dig deep, the more questions come rushing to me. What have I done with the twenty years of my life? Am I satisfied with it?* It was full of all the colors existing on earth, all hues of blues and it was brighter than any rainbow. And to be able to see these colors, I went into darkness too. Life is unpredictable as we always say. To answer my question, yes, I am satisfied with it and I am proud of those twenty years with ups and downs and twirls in between. I am thankful with everyone who have been there with me and I also want to share my gratitude to those who left me, for they also helped me find the way that’s meant for me.  Nonetheless, I am fearful because my responsibilities now are real and they’re already in front of me. Reality burns my skin—it’s so hard to see, it’s hard to believe that I have to change my perspectives every now and then to cope up with the challenges that life has.  On the other hand, it is also exciting. As a writer, I only want to show you the truth through my words. If teenage life’s the time we did so much experiments, adulting stage is where we put out the results. Before I even reach 20, I slowly immersed myself into a practical life because we aren’t rich and I also needed to earn my own money in order to help my parents.

`Photo from Unsplash` **Practical doesn’t mean I don’t spoil myself at all. Practicality for me means I know my limitations and I don’t center my happiness on anything that has monetary value.** I buy immediately a thing when I know that it would be ultimately benefit me and truly essential to my situation. Nonetheless, if not, I have to apply my tricks on it to know if that thing would really make me happy or it just excites me at the present time. I have mentioned a while back that adulting stage is the time that my responsibilities become strenuous. But, it doesn’t mean that you will spare yourself from all the fun. I only have one main goal — ***it’s to make my life worth living.*** As I reach this stage, I aim to become the person that the world needs. As much as I can, I should be able to help everyone. As much as I can, I should be able to put smile on people’s faces.  Being the eldest, I have a big responsibility to my family. I envisioned that after I graduate in college, I would force my father to stop working. I don’t want him to work up to his retirement year. I ambitioned to take over in being the breadwinner of the family and I wanted my little sister to live the life I dreamt of for her. I don’t want her to be having big dreams but choosing options that are only available in her situation, like how it happened to mine. Thus, I am really working hard.

`Photo from Unsplash` As I cross this ***bridge***, I also need to prepare myself for the doors that will close in front of me. Being limitless is good but being blind isn’t. I know that I have to deal with a lot of changes and I have to teach myself how to deal with them fast. I am a soft person but this is where I should be getting the strength to build some walls for the things that aren’t for me.  I haven’t noticed my age so much unlike this year. My birthdays aren’t grand and sometimes it’s even worse than my ordinary days.   **As I turn 20 on April and I cross this bridge, I hope I understand that this isn’t a two-lane road which means there’s no turning back. I should understand that there are stop lights and I can rest for a little while on this journey if I have to.**  As I go into another island, I can look over to where I came from but I can’t go back to how it used to be. If there are things I could carry, it’s only the memories and the lessons it taught me and may it always be a way for me to become a better person. To you, who’s reading this, I hope you’ll be there as I jump into a new world of possibilities and confrontations. I hope I get to share you more of my thoughts, ideas, and perspectives as it is my desire to be an instrument to other people.

`Photo from Unsplash` If you have questions, points to clarify, or any message for me, humbly write them down below – it would mean a lot for me. **Thank** **you**! `Lead Image from Unsplash`