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This is my second blog writing about Robin Williams. The first one revolved around his suicide note and I wonder what it was all about.
This one is about his movie "What Dreams May Come" I stumbled upon watching a little while ago. Robin Williams's role here was a husband with 2 children who were killed in a car accident. He stayed strong for his wife who dealt with massive depression, and later after, he was hit by a car. The depression she had was too much and she committed suicide. In the movie, he traveled to "hell" which was depicted as a place people go that defines their own hell. For his wife, it was the loss of her kids and her husband and being in a constant state of depression and dementia.
I often wonder if actors and actresses do roles that define their own lives. Maybe not the exact storyline, but the emotions of the people they play.
Here are 3 quotes from the movie I want to look at:
"What's true in our minds is true, whether some people know it or not."
As a person who has dealt with depression most of my life, I can totally relate to this. Our perspective of self is distorted, damaged, and often lost. And although others cannot see things the way we do for us, what we see is very real to us.
"Good people end up in Hell because they can't forgive themselves. I know I can't."
First, do people who commit suicide go to hell? I honestly do not know the answer to this one. I have attempted suicide several times and have people I know who committed suicide as well. I do believe that often good people who suffer commit suicide for this very reason, they cannot forgive themselves. Whether it be for something they did wrong or the feeling that their existence is wrong and has been no benefit to anyone.
"Sometimes, when you lose, you win."
Although I do not condone suicide, I can totally understand this statement. You lose a battle of depression, fake smiles, and lies about how you feel. You win the battle of having to continue living that battle and feel that you have not only been set free. But you also feel you have set everyone else free of having to be in contact with your pain. I won't get into my struggles here, but just that when I watched this movie, I felt very in tune with it.
Robin Williams was best known as a comedian, and it is my belief that sometimes the funniest people are the saddest. They became masters of the gift of giving laughter as an answer to a feeling of inadequacy and it made them feel they had value. I know, I have done this my whole life. In school, to friends in need, I am the shoulder, even today, I joke around keeping things lighthearted and fun. These behaviors are me, they are not fake but they do define a person who wants to be loved for who I am. I find that whenever I fail in one of these areas, it hits me emotionally. It is truly a hard way to live.
Happiness is sort of a butterfly they say. Irrespective of how much you are attempting to catch it, it still eludes you. But if you move your life, it comes and lands back on your shoulder. Your loneliness, sadness, and depression are literally helping you be a much better person. However, view it as a transition phase, something which isn't permanent and which is able to pass.
By the way, I've been surrounded by butterflies for some time now, and they've been outside my window, on my porch and yard, kitchen, and living room. They have had a very strong presence. It actually brought me to tears today because I've seen a few. I remember when I was down a couple of times, I almost gave up life but God is good. I am still here.
Good evening everyone. Life ain't always pretty and ever easy at times. But, when those moments break through that make us smile, feel the love and contentment at a sudden peace that descends, we realize with the sudden clarity how blessed we really are. Look for those little moments of happiness.