Healthy Anger

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Avatar for Bjorn
Written by
3 years ago

When was the last time you argued with a person? How has your patience been lately?

Before I will talk about the topic, let me tell you first about some of my personal traits. No one else here knows anyone personally, we are all anonymous, unless you have invited your best friend here that would be fine.

I will make myself as an example first so you have at least an idea what a stranger like me is about.

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I am the person who is still dealing with my patience for my entire life. When I was younger, my patience was short. I tend to raise my anger if I dislike a person even for just a small gesture.

A loud awkward music playing for hours in my neighbors can also make me angry.

Introvert

.https://unsplash.com/s/photos/patrick-pierre


I was like a snobbish person during my early age. I don’t like to be noticed. It irritates me and when I am annoyed it leads to hatred and worst was that it becomes anger.


Sometimes a look in the eye can easily raise my adrenaline. I was engaged in a fight when I was a teenager because of eye contact from a foolish kid of the same age. I ended up having a black eye.


If I hear negative feedback about me from another person, I always want to confront the person who spreads the rumor.

.https://unsplash.com/photos/q5QXU-97_i0

I think I have said enough about some of my personal character. You can call me unfriendly, coldhearted, unlikeable or whatever attributes of a personality that I mentioned. Somehow you already have an idea of what type of person is the owner of this account.

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Over the years I am battling with myself and trying to find ways on how to manage my anger. I read books and watch films about anger management but all was applied just a bit and never sank in.

Until I forget about dealing with it. However upon reading books about confidence, friendship and other related articles. There was a phrase about anger that marked in my brain up this moment.


“It is okay to get angry. But when you get angry, do not sin.”


There are instances that make us angry all of a sudden. For example an officemate or neighbor came to you and started yelling and telling things about something that makes him really mad at you.

In my case I would react without thinking and retaliate as I consider it as an attack. I may have said unnecessary words because I am already angry too.

Sometimes when we are angry we let our emotions occupy us without using our brains first. This is when we make sin due to anger.


So how do we manage to have healthy anger?

Here are ten things to consider to cool down.

  1. Think before you speak

  2. Once you're calm, express your anger

  3. Get some exercise

  4. Take a timeout

  5. Identify possible solutions

  6. Stick with 'I' statements

  7. Don't hold a grudge

  8. Use humor to release tension

  9. Practice relaxation skills

  10. Know when to seek help

I will not have to discuss it one by one because it is self explanatory. But if you wish to have clear insights you can check my source here.


So in my own experience to be responsible has helped me manage my anger. Having your own family and raising kids have tested my patience. Overtime I just realized that I no longer burst my anger easily.

I don’t suggest that everyone should marry and have a family. Being alone is a choice. Unless you wish to live on a celibate life then you have a very long patience as I can say.

I hope you have learned something from this post. I am not an advisor or counselor of any sort. Just sharing with you here some life experiences and motivation.


If you find this article interesting feel free to share your thoughts in the comment. Ciao!


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Resources:

How to Control Anger: 25 Tips to Help You Stay Calm

Anger Management: 10 tips to tame your temper

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You may want to support me with my journey here at read.cash, I will highly appreciate it. 

Cointr.ee

*You can check my previous post about Self-worth, a motivational story of how to value yourself.

Know Your Value

Images are free from Unsplash


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Avatar for Bjorn
Written by
3 years ago

Comments

Finally, I was able to read it. We are extremely opposites, as I find it hard to express myself naman. Even I am so angry, I always choose to be silent and remain calm, plus all my fists clenched, and breathing heavily. LOL. tha scary part about it is when all this anger bottled up inside will just explode one day, when I can't hold it any longer. So I kinda envy people who can express well. It's my downside as an introvert.

Anyway, that quote where 'you can be angry, but don't sin' is also taught by the Bible. Even Jesus got angry, too, but he did not sin , not even once. A sinful anger is when the person uses bad words, or hurt the opposing party, or when the feud is not resolved before the day ends. That's how I interpret it. Well, anger is healthy, too, when moderated. Not being angry is abnormal, as well.

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2 years ago

hehe, at last. Anyway we also need to raise some adrenalin sometimes to keep us balance.

Just always remember that being angry doesn't mean to have sin, uncontrolled angry leads people to have seen. Thanks for taking time reading.

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2 years ago

Wow, Bjorn you really opened up here. I'd never thought you were a short-fused person that gets into a rage that easy :D Hope I never fall on your wrong side, my friend. Perhaps you're like Bjorn Ironside from Vikings :P Anyways, hope you can calm down, usually, you get calmer with age, so hope maturity helps you get through it. Not easy being annoyed by everything :D

Cheers mate!

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3 years ago

You know when you already have wife and kids you will just to have lots of patience. Don't worry dude, time has really made me calmer 😁.

Speaking of Vikings I only finished when Bjorn was killed by his own brother Ivar the boneless. 😃 no more news on the next season.

Thanks for the sponsorship by the way, highly appreciated. Trying to read your post on medium. 👍

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3 years ago