Reacting to Betrayal
Heartbreaks and betrayals a lot of us here have experienced at least once in our lives. We trust, we love, we care for somebody with everything we've got and then all of a sudden it gets reduced to rubble and taken for granted like it was nothing to them. We become heartbroken, sad, and even angry for what they have done to us. In most cases our initial emotions are that of resentment and vengeance but do you, as a person let these initial emotions take over you or do they turn into something else over time?
A period of betrayal is an often difficult one. We find a hard time wrapping our heads around the fact that we have been betrayed, since the most hurtful betrayals come from those who matter alot to us it takes time for us to come to terms with the reality of it all and that's a form of suffering on its own.
In life, things are much easier if we view them through a lens of optimism and hope. While it can be extremely difficult to accept what has been done to you, especially by someone you love, do not try to deny yourself to feel the pain of what has been done. Do not call them immediately after the realisation as you're still very vulnerable to your emotions at this point and anything you say wouldn't make any sense. Cry if you wish, hug your pillow and make sure you drain every piece of hurtful tears into them. If you have a close supportive friend, go to them for emotional support. Empty your heart to them, this can do you some good for the meantime and after getting into the overwhelmingly emotional stage of the betrayal, we become more logical and less emotional. We start thinking than just reacting blindly even if much of they thinking revolves around why the person had acted the way they did. If you spend much time in such thoughts you get drawn into overthinking which can lead to depression. In my opinion the best thing to do is to try to contact them if they haven't ghosted you already. If they reply to your call or messages, fix a meeting with them and tell them there's one last thing you'd like to discuss with them. If the meeting is agreed upon, meet with them and ask them why they did what they did..get to hear their side of the story, from there you would know why it all happened and know steps to take. I know this seems kinda unwise but I figured that uncertainty is one of the reasons of sinking into depression due to betrayals. You bother your precious brain with questions like, "why did they do this?" "Did they even love me from the beginning or were they just using me?" and things like that. All these questions can do serious damage to your self-esteem and you'd end up thinking you're not enough for them nor for anybody. Be careful, before doing this, make sure you've overcome the stages of overwhelming emotions as it can end up messing up the conversation that you might regret not having.
What if they aren't picking my calls or decide never to meet again?
If this is the case, leave them alone. I think by now you've had enough answers about their intentions from the start. Allow yourself to grieve for as long as required. Allow yourself to feel all pain so that you won't have to feel them again when you finally get back up on your feet, unexpressed pain is sure to come back sooner or later to mess things up. Dealing with betrayal is a difficult thing but with the right approach and loving and supporting people around us, it is much easier.
Do not hold any resentment or hatred towards those who betrayed you in the past, don't even expect "karma" to deal with them. Just wish them all the best and move on with your life. Betrayal isn't always a bad thing, it can be a means to becoming better as grief has a healing effect on a scorched soul.
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Our default reaction to betrayal is feeling hurt and resentful. But as you said, let's allow ourselves to grieve and then rise back up, shake off the pain, let go. It may not be easy but it's the only way to move forward lightly and without emotional burden.