@BettyBoop 26 September 2020

Everyone needs love and confirmation.

Imagine a child born into an average family. It is small and helpless. The love and attention he received from his parents meant life to him. Their lack means death to him. When he has them, he is happy. When he is not there, he feels deep pain. As he grows, he realizes that the love and attention of his parents is not unconditional.

In fact, they are very conditioned. They praise him if he behaves nicely, collects toys, later when he has good grades. They criticize him when he is naughty, when he does not want to eat or sleep, when he watches TV instead of studying… Then the child comes to the conclusion that he will have more attention if he behaves one way or another, so he adopts these patterns of behavior.

However, what happens when parents are often absent and focused on work, or when they do not know how to devote themselves adequately to the child, because they did not learn that from their parents? The child, as a very intelligent being, will do everything in his power to get what he needs and what belongs to him by birth: the love and attention of his parents and the immediate environment. He will start manipulating and doing what he sees his parents "passing" and what they "fall for". If he gets attention with the disease, he will get sick. If he attracts attention by going to the room, being angry and refusing to communicate, so that his parents can come and dedicate themselves to him, he will do it. If parents praise good grades, they will try to have good grades. If that doesn't work for him, he can attract attention with mischief and bad behavior. Attention is attention, even when it is negative. And she is better than not having her at all.