Support: I owe no one.

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2 years ago

Many people have had countless debate on if anyone owes them support for the times they've been together or what they've done for them or not. Before I go deep into the actions or attitudes that may require support from someone , let me breach into what support truly is.

In my own words, support is something or somebody that helps keep things in place or being with someone in dire time of need either physically, spiritually, emotionally or financially.

What makes our life is our physical, spiritual, emotional and financial aspect which I would like to link to the to the word 'support'.

Physical.

In matter of nature, physical is attached to our senses and body rather than the mind. We need support in our physical form when we are tired or during old age. Many people get saddened when they don't get the support they give. Like during old age you expect your children to be with you but maybe death took them away or work took them away so they hire someone to take care of you but still you aren't satisfied because it is them you need. When we are tired we need someone to fall back on and it breaks us when those people you wish to be there aren't or does not care enough to and you'll ask why... Why aren't they there? With that you term them as bad people.

Spiritual.

This have to do with the soul or our mental and intellectual aspects. In our everyday life, we all pass through different mental phases that makes us question ourselves. In this time of need, we need support from someone, a reassurance from our close ones that we are indeed okay, or someone to pray for us like we did when they needed us but alas! we get the opposite leaving us to go through these phases alone or fortunately with people we never expected to be with us.

Emotional.

In our emotional state, we might be badly broken either from the death of someone or from a relationship saga or from life itself and in this time of need, we need someone or something (music, exercise, traveling , social media e.t.c) to be there for us. A shoulder to cry on or someone to wipe those hurtful tears or someone to just sit there and listen as we pour out our eyes and heart out. And in this time of need we are met with strangers and not people whom we have done so much for and this add more to our broken soul.

Finance.

The world is cruel on most of us when it comes to finance, many of us started from the grassroots and are still striving to make ends meet. In this crucial time we have uncle's, aunt or other family members and friends whom our parent had helped before passing away or after all their wealth got drained, subconsciously we look up to those people to help out but we are left with nothing. And it makes us wonder, but why didn't they? Didn't my dad got him connection when he had nothing? Didn't my mom cook and took them as her own when they had no place to go? Didn't I help with funds when he/she had nothing to eat or transport to the business that made their life fruitful?. Then why didn't they help when I needed help with connections and finance?.

Why no on owes you support.

I know many will disagree with this and you are right to, no one owes you anything, the moment you do something for someone and expects they do the same is the moment you create trouble for yourself. Help without expecting back from the person in return. I know some of you will say, but we are very close, she is like a sister to me and he is like a brother to me. Truly if they are, then don't expect anything from them. Do it like you are doing something free of charge for someone you care about.

Why do we feel pained when people we support doesn't retaliate?

Love. This is the only thing that makes us feel hurt, the fact that we care deeply for someone and will do anything for them hurts us when we realise they won't do the same. The fact that they weren't present in your time of need when your present in theirs hurts so much because we love them.

There's a story of an acquainted friend of mine who now recently became a good friend. She lost her dad(her mother isn't alive also) last two weeks ago, when she posted it I couldn't believe it. I had to call her to confirm of which she confirmed it was true.

Being the kind of person I was, I went to her place and I could see sadness mixed with happiness when she saw me. I hugged her and told her I was here. She smiled and nodded, then she said, I couldn't believe it when I saw you because I didn't even expect you'd come. The person whom she had expected to come didn't show up even when her house was close and when she did two days later, she claimed she had work to do. And didn't seem sorry that she wasn't there for her.

Always note that apart from people somethings aren't there also like I mentioned earlier in emotional aspect on music, travelling , exercise for not being there. Sometimes when you need to listen to certain music you realize it as been deleted or your phone got spoilt in that moment or when you need to travel to ease yourself from pain and there's no fund to or when you need to exercise there's no time or place.

And always remember that in regardless of whatever happens in life, they are people who will always support you, but don't expect it to be someone you know. Because you have been good to others, surely karma(what goes around comes back around) will always take place.

Thanks for reading and stay safe.

Photo source: Unsplash.

Writer: Balikis

Date: 16 January 2022.

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2 years ago

Comments

I love to seek solace in my plants. Sometimes people are busy with their own interests and I love to plant to soothe my spirit.

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2 years ago

You are right, people's interest varies, we just need to find what soothes our spirits and am glad you found yours.

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2 years ago

Thank you.

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2 years ago

Whaoo..m you're such a good writer, and truly when we help someone we shouldn't expect anything in return cause when we do, we only get disappointment

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2 years ago

Well said.. and thank you ☺️

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2 years ago

You're welcome

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2 years ago

Some people do think if they help you automatically you owe them which is wrong. We need to be selfless don't expect something in return when we give out, as you say surely what goes around comes around, it might not be from who we help.

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2 years ago

Umm, I feel sometimes we should ask for support from others because we can't always be independent on our own

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2 years ago

True , but most times people dont turn up on your request and sometimes disregard it.. I had someone who seek support from someone who had the connection to but the person never did so always make sure you have backup plans Incase the person flops.

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2 years ago

Yeah, what a twist life takes, disappointments left and right but what can we say, that's what makes us human

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2 years ago

Correct, that is why we shouldn't lay and wait for someone to help out because we did, life isn't meant to be fair.

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2 years ago