The Gift that I never had a chance to know

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1 year ago

Three years ago, I had an intimate relationship with the woman I love the most. She’s the very first woman I let myself fall into. The person I never expect will come and steal my heart in time that I only care for myself and nothing more. We met at school, that time my whole personality was a bit intimidating maybe because I was a transferee.

During my junior high, I’m a widely approachable person, jolly, easy go lucky but still an academic achiever. However, I change that personality into someone I don’t even know because I need to blend myself with my new environment. In the latter part of 2018, we met. I honestly didn’t care about her at first because I always guard myself. Thankfully I survived my first year without mingling with my classmates or anyone else in school, a total loner in short.

But because our class often conducts the open forum, I received negative comments about my attitude. Such as I’m not approachable or they choose not to approach because my presence was intimidating, they had negative comments even the way I speak. So, the following year, I changed my attitude again and try to slowly show my real personality, and so far they prefer my true personality as compared to the pretentious one. So, in September 2018, the school celebrate the senior high intramurals to which I joined the volleyball team. I was part of the first 6-well actually we only have 7 players lol!

My teammates were not aware that I used to play the game and I wanted to play in surprise and so it happened. Fast forward, the first day was a success because we were able to go through finals. During the game there was this particular lady who often cheer for me, I was too focused on the game at that time that’s why I didn’t notice her until the finals. The following day just before the final game started, one of the teachers approach me and asked for a selfie with me, I just smiled and nod my head as a response.

I thought it was the teacher whom I’ll be taking a picture with but it wasn’t the case tho. She introduces me to that young beautiful and cheerful lady. She immediately smiles at me and says hi while raising her hand for a shake. Her cheeks completely turn red when I reach her hand, I smiled and say hello. It was an epic moment because everyone was expecting it will happen. Meanwhile, I was completely unaware of what this beautiful lady did during the game- feels like a Wattpad story isn’t it? Believe It or not, I don’t believe it myself at first that stories in novels happen in real life until I experienced this.

Then suddenly her friends fill up the blanks in my head. After hearing the whole story from them I recall what she did, I even review some videos from my friends, and yeah she really did cheer me to the best that she can. Honestly, I love what she did, it gave me one whole big reason to smile.

That’s how our first encounter happened then the rest is history. Two months after, the whole campus know about our relationship. A perfect couple according to them because we both share the same hobbies. We both love to sing, we both love to draw and paint, we are both academic achievers and most importantly we both feel the same towards one another.

One day, we had a weird conversation while watching other students playing basketball. She pinpointed one of the students and told me she had a crush on him. I smiled and tease her, a typical couple conversation. Sometime after, the conversation reach the part that I did not expect, she ended everything between us. I thought she was just joking but she’s not.

I was just teasing her but I didn’t think she’ll actually grant that tease into reality. Then she cried in front of me. I panicked and I don’t know what to do, so, I just hugged and calm her saying that it’s okay, that I understand but in reality, I don’t. It was hard for me to accept but It’s even harder to see her crying in front of me.

That was painful and the worst birthday gift I ever received in my entire existence. Four days after, it was my birthday- the worst birthday I ever had. I went to school completely in a bad mood wearing the usual intimidating presence when I first arrive here. No one approaches me because of that look again, no one except her. She gave me a present and greet me. She wears the usual smile which made me fall in love with her. She seems not affected and so I thought she really like that student we were talking about the day she broke my heart.

I don’t know what to think at that time, I was depressed and I can’t think logically. In the end, I refuse to accept her gift without even thinking thoroughly about what she’ll feel, all I care was myself. Three days after, I found out through her friends that she broke her savings and exert so much effort just so to finish that gift. She even continues and finishes the rest of it during class the following morning when she didn’t finish it at home.

All that effort was meant for nothing. After all, I did not accept it, because I was selfish and only care for myself and I did not think about her feelings. All I know is that I was hurt without even asking if she’s hurt as well. It was a big mistake and I can’t blame her if she doesn’t want to be with me because I’m so selfish.

Up until now, I don’t know what was inside of that paper bag. The thing that she willingly gave her savings just to make my day special. We are both happy now.

She’s happy with her love life and I’m happy to be single. Yes, I did not try to find someone else again after her.

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Written by
1 year ago