@AngSima 14 June 2021 more from that month

A Day in History

Who knows? Have you ever wondered what would be the real feeling of being in love or being loved? This is the same question that I’ve used to ask myself. Who would really get interested in that name or most importantly, the person behind it? Anyways, I have grown up in a family full of love where I’ve seen the deep commitment between my parents and even my grandparents. In all of that sweetness, I found my eyes closed as I feel the warmth of their love piercing my heart. In all of those days, all I could remember was the blinding sight of their comfort and care scattered in the lonely path of my life. Now, what would be there at the end of that path? Is there really someone out there who would bestow me the same love and care that I have used to live with? Maybe I am not worthy to receive such endearment or maybe even worse. My life with my elementary classmates was truly colorful. I could reminisce those shadows of ours chasing us under the burning sight of the glimpsing sun. With dirty slippers worn around our elbows, we would run past the chirping locusts and creeping ants in the grass-pitched school ground. I could remember those melodic voices of our teachers resonating on the corners of our room yet those would not hamper my classmates' conversations in disguise. All I have those times was a childish mind until that day came. It was February 14, 2014, when the footsteps of my old, trusted classmate came marching towards my direction. I could see a piece of excitement on his cheeks as he firmly handed me a blue pen with a tiny sheet of paper curling inside. Such surge of hot blood gently rushed into my hands as I held it tight. Finally, I decided to open it up as the growing curiosity inside me kept urging so hard. There, I found a simple handwritten message. Soon, amazement filled my mind as I watched those fine ink marks she made had created a thorough description of her deep affection. I could even remember the phrase, “patay na patay” on that letter that I can hardly forget until now. On that very day, I promised myself I would never talk to her anymore. When I stepped into junior high school, everything started to get complicated. I had to leave my family and spend my high school days in the cold cuddle of my grandmother’s old house. I could remember the times of heavy rains when I had to wipe the tears off our tortured roof. I could still recall the lonely creaks of our bamboo floor created whenever I laid my footsteps in it. In the meantime, that old, frail home gave me four years of its embrace. It witnessed how I grew, how I learned from my school, and most of all, how I fell in love and how I ended up broken-hearted. It all started in that busy afternoon of January 17, 2016. I could remember her footsteps slowly strode right in front of me. With ample smiles on her face, she talked to me with gentleness. It was quite normal for me to engage in conversation with her until she said, “Gusto kaya kita.” At that moment, all I could do was to tell myself that it’s not true. However, those words baffled my mind for the next two years and I spent that entire duration believing that it was still true. In the end, I really fell in love with her. I began accompanying and chatting with her on the way home. I have even spent hours on weekends driving my bicycle to her home just to steal a few moments of her sight. In the end, all of those efforts got paid when I finally found her in the arms of others. Now, it was already six years since I have received that love letter in elementary and two years since the last time I saw my high school crush. From those mistakes, I learned how to deal better with my feelings and control them as much as possible. Anyways, things about us are already fixed by now. In fact, I was actually able to connect with both of them through online chat. However, these experiences of mine are still boggling me. Am I really worthy to be loved? Is there really someone for me? Well, who knows? I’m not done with my life yet. (Autobiography of my Life) (This article may contain grammatical mistakes. Apologies for that...I'm just a newbie.)