Published on: September 05, 2021
I am hesitant to share this to you but see,
I'm sharing it now.
It felt like it only happened yesterday. That old me was a bit off, unfriendly and selfish. Yet, I lived with a soft heart to consider things and other's shortcomings.
All are clear. As though my teacher's lesson plans and grading sheets that record our good performance and tests scores. Everything's fine. Although I was partly abused to do most of our group tasks, I didn't bother to complain. I was helping. I was saving some ass. And the tasks were just fine with me.
I had this classmate. She was kind of bitchy, bossy, and semi-rich or let's say she's rich. They were. We didn't talk because there was nothing to talk about and we were not fit to be friends anyways. She was not into befriending peasant like me. And I wasn't into befriending gems like her.
One day, we were grouped together to work on a term paper. I asked and gave her the part she'd be working on as I'd do mine. Days after, I was done. She didn't made her part and she didn't tell me at all. I did it all myself. The deadline was fast approaching so I wasted my time working on it. Until I was done, atlast. My inner me was dwelling with me. It felt so bad and my grudge was taking over me. Even some of my classmates said that I should not include her name since she didn't help me at all. They said, that girl should learn some lesson.
It was not their words that pushed me to erase her name as my groupmate. It was my choice, and for my peace of mind. And yes, for my ego. I passed the paper and as expected, she discovered that I didn't write her name.
I was making my way inside our classroom when she stopped and confronted me. She shouted at me. And said some hurtful words at how selfish I was and at how inconsiderate I was. Never in my life that someone actually confronted me that way, so harshly. I was close to fighting back but something was telling me to hold back my anger. No one knew how I deal with my anger. It was the first time that I actually shed more tears. It was my first to cry because of so much anger towards a classmate.
She was fuming mad and stormed to our subject teacher and reported my childishness. That moment, I knew, when my teacher didn't said any words but stared at me. As if she was saying. "Have you forgetten who's her mother?"
Of course, she was under the claw of my bitch of a classmate's mother. They were friends. Definitely, she would not hear my side. I was wrong and selfish end of the story.
That bitchy classmate showered me with insult. I thought she'd be nicer to ask and say sorry for her negligence. I guess I was so wrong to expect that she'd do that. It took some days for that issue and anger to subside. Everyone eyed me with pity when they saw me cried for the first time. I didn't need pity. Why did they gave me that kind of look?
I remembered, her mom was one of the most influential teacher in our school. She was not just a mediocre one since even the principal would take her side. She'd surely brought this up to her mom, when that day comes, my grades, little valued reputation, and my whole high school year would be traumatic. The worst one would be, how my parents would react to my impulsiveness.
I let it be. I didn't talk back because I didn't have the even power as she had. If my mom was the principal or that my parents had the money, I would not hesitate to fight back. I was a coward, yes. Was it my fault? Of course.
It wasn't just me. I've seen some who've experienced and undergone this type of cruelty of power. Some were worse. Even now, it's true and inevitable. Some will have to experience this, eventually. You can't fight back because you don't have the ticket to complain about it, even if the situation cries unfairness, you can't do anything about it...or you can but you'll lose something. Your life will change...
Lead image - Unsplash- Engin akyurt