Love, Marriage, Money
Today has been quite a day, as some of my classmates and I were in the farm together, we dived into one of our random conversations as always. This time, it centered around LOVE. There was a debate about how sexual attraction and love have been branded into different types.
There was a debate about how crush and lust are branded sexual attraction, and how love in itself is a chemical reaction in the brain. And how love itself has been branded into different types. The argument was: there is love, and there is sexual attraction and both are two different feelings and not dependent on each other. For example, I can be sexually attracted to someone, but I do not love them. Also, I can love someone and not be sexually attracted to them.
Examples given was strictly on:
1) family and friendship.
2) Romantic relationship.
The first was said to be just love, while the second was said to be love and sexual attraction, and the last is just sexual attraction and nothing more. I heard one of my classmates say crushing on someone could be just you admiring them. And I asked if crush was a synonym of admire. She thought about it and kept mute.
The argument was yet to be concluded, when one thing led to another and one of my female classmates said the number one thing she’s looking in a man she wants to marry was money. That really caught my attention. And I blatantly said to her with a straight face that she won’t be happy in such a marriage.
Why Did I Say This?
On a good day, I wouldn’t have spurted out those words as I had done, but it came out from a place of gross disappointment. Firstly, I know she’s one of the oldest people in our class, and I had expected she’d be all the wiser, and not say something like that in front of the younger females. That not to say everyone does not have their preferences, and things they look out for, and I suppose she had her reason for saying that or why she has that particular mindset.
She was surprised to hear me say those words so straightforward, one of another female asked her “SO, YOU WON’T MARRY FOR LOVE?” She replied “Marry for love then I start to suffer, is it love that wants to feed me?” someone else asked if she was insinuating that in all love marriages, there is poverty and suffering. I went on to as her “WHAT IF YOU GET MARRIED TO A RICH PERSON AND HE LOSES ALL HIS MONEY AFTER YOU TWO ARE ALREADY MARRIED?” She was quiet and had no response to the question I had asked.
I must admit that I was quite surprised at the kind of mindset she had. I later went on to say that money shouldn’t be the number one thing on her criteria for a husband. That is not to downplay the importance of money, especially when you want to raise a family. But, the thing with money is that you can lose it. What happened to love, trust, understanding and loyalty?
I was going to ask her why she’s not focused on making her own money, instead of waiting for a man with money to come her way, so they can marry. Unfortunately, the conversation was interrupted and we didn’t get to complete the discussion.
After thinking about all what was said, I wasn’t really surprised at the kind of mindset she had shown earlier. I mean, it is common for among ladies in this part of the country to be interested in money and not actually love. Then I think of how one would be willing to spend their life living with an husband they don’t love. I suppose love could start to grow after they are married, but how many marriages actually end up like this?
As always, I would like to hear the view of my readers in the comment box. Ad I also want to use this medium to appreciate all of you guys for the support and love you’ve been extending to me all this time. May you all receive abundant blessings for your kindness.
Thank You For Reading 🖤🖤