Love, Marriage, Money

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Written by
1 year ago

Today has been quite a day, as some of my classmates and I were in the farm together, we dived into one of our random conversations as always. This time, it centered around LOVE. There was a debate about how sexual attraction and love have been branded into different types.

There was a debate about how crush and lust are branded sexual attraction, and how love in itself is a chemical reaction in the brain. And how love itself has been branded into different types. The argument was: there is love, and there is sexual attraction and both are two different feelings and not dependent on each other. For example, I can be sexually attracted to someone, but I do not love them. Also, I can love someone and not be sexually attracted to them.

Examples given was strictly on:

1)      family and friendship.

2)      Romantic relationship.

3)      Crush.

The first was said to be just love, while the second was said to be love and sexual attraction, and the last is just sexual attraction and nothing more. I heard one of my classmates say crushing on someone could be just you admiring them. And I asked if crush was a synonym of admire. She thought about it and kept mute.

The argument was yet to be concluded, when one thing led to another and one of my female classmates said the number one thing she’s looking in a man she wants to marry was money. That really caught my attention. And I blatantly said to her with a straight face that she won’t be happy in such a marriage.

Why Did I Say This?

On a good day, I wouldn’t have spurted out those words as I had done, but it came out from a place of gross disappointment. Firstly, I know she’s one of the oldest people in our class, and I had expected she’d be all the wiser, and not say something like that in front of the younger females. That not to say everyone does not have their preferences, and things they look out for, and I suppose she had her reason for saying that or why she has that particular mindset.

She was surprised to hear me say those words so straightforward, one of another female asked her “SO, YOU WON’T MARRY FOR LOVE?” She replied “Marry for love then I start to suffer, is it love that wants to feed me?” someone else asked if she was insinuating that in all love marriages, there is poverty and suffering. I went on to as her “WHAT IF YOU GET MARRIED TO A RICH PERSON AND HE LOSES ALL HIS MONEY AFTER YOU TWO ARE ALREADY MARRIED?” She was quiet and had no response to the question I had asked.

I must admit that I was quite surprised at the kind of mindset she had. I later went on to say that money shouldn’t be the number one thing on her criteria for a husband. That is not to downplay the importance of money, especially when you want to raise a family. But, the thing with money is that you can lose it. What happened to love, trust, understanding and loyalty?

I was going to ask her why she’s not focused on making her own money, instead of waiting for a man with money to come her way, so they can marry. Unfortunately, the conversation was interrupted and we didn’t get to complete the discussion.

After thinking about all what was said, I wasn’t really surprised at the kind of mindset she had shown earlier. I mean, it is common for among ladies in this part of the country to be interested in money and not actually love. Then I think of how one would be willing to spend their life living with an husband they don’t love. I suppose love could start to grow after they are married, but how many marriages actually end up like this?

As always, I would like to hear the view of my readers in the comment box. Ad I also want to use this medium to appreciate all of you guys for the support and love you’ve been extending to me all this time. May you all receive abundant blessings for your kindness.

Thank You For Reading 🖤🖤

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Comments

Just like you said, that's her preference. And I wish her good luck. Reminds me of a conversation I had with another course mate who confessed that it's her dream to date any Nigerian footballer who plays for a foreign club becos she learnt they receive huge paycheck every week. I told her that there are women footballers doing great as well. "So, Why don't you become a footballer and make huge bucks too ?!,"

$ 0.02
1 year ago

Lmao. Dreams do come through, and perhaps hers will be no exception. 😅

$ 0.00
1 year ago

There are a lot of ladies, women have this mindset friend. For me it's not good because we don't know what will happen that's why it's really important to work in our own to be financially stable not waiting someone to be part in your life to give you a good life because as what have you asked her friend hit me also.

It's the lesson because not all the time people will be on top but there are a lot of unexpected happenings too. Work hard with our own self is really important. Do not depend of others.

$ 0.03
1 year ago

Beautiful Ramona. You have really made good points

$ 0.00
1 year ago

Thank you so much my friend. ❤️😊

$ 0.00
1 year ago

That is the problem, most ladies created problem for themselves right from the beginning because they were only financially attracted the the guy and nothing more. Girls are more responsibility for a fake relationship.

$ 0.02
1 year ago

Exactly, they don't know that chasing money and chasing happiness are two different things

$ 0.00
1 year ago

Some says it's called being practical but actually for me it's not, yeah we need money for our living but we also need love. We can work and earn money but money can't work for our feelings.

$ 0.02
1 year ago

Absolutely, but people fail to realise this. Thanks dear for your saline point

$ 0.00
1 year ago

Why is it money really matter in terms of that situation.

$ 0.02
1 year ago

I suppose they want a better life and live with all the comfort money can buy

$ 0.00
1 year ago

Depends on mentality. Some choose to be a wealthy one while others wait to be with a wealthy one. One is self belief and other is desire.

$ 0.02
1 year ago

On point as always Luci

$ 0.00
1 year ago