Aiah's Day 4-25-2021

Waazzuupp everybody!!

So before I go to sleep, I want to share with you what had happened today. Hope no one will judge for what I have been feeling now.

So, here it is.

Early in the morning, I posted on Facebook and greeted everyone with a happy Sunday with my face on it. I never expect that my cousin will heart and comment on my post. She said, happy Sunday too, and called me dai again. It was their endearment for me.

Now, what made me wonder is that I knew she was mad at me. Her sister told me that last year, I think around November. I don't know why she got mad at me but her sister told me that it is because I am not replying to her messages which is my doing to everyone. I don't like messaging especially if it's not important. I am close with her sister, she was like my best friend/cousin. We jive and love each company but we don't understand why we can't be with her eldest sister. Maybe because she's so serious and we can't jive with her attitude.

I remember when we were children, she's always mad at me. That is why we can't be together because our attitudes were opposite.

Flashback...

Together with my siblings, we went to Lola's house. We like to watched tv that time, cartoons.

While we were watching my cousin arrived, let us just call her J1, together with my close cousin J2. J2 sat beside me and my siblings, while J1 sat on the sofa and she shoos one of our cousins whose seating there. I felt pity for Edison but I did not bother to say a word. We continue watching but she changes the channel. I ask her why she changed it when we were watching. She said I don't have the right and then she told me that we should go home. Without hesitation, I told my siblings that we should go. When we are about to get out of the house, I heard her say that she doesn't like us because we're poor. I was hurt but didn't mind her. At the age of 9, I was opened about how they treat us as their relatives. Only J1 accepted us as their blood-related.

One day, my Aunt came to our house. She brought money for my mother given by my Aunt who's the eldest sister of them both. I wasn't expecting her to throw the money to the table and said "Oh, here's the money you ask Manang. You always ask for money from her. Have some shame will you?"

My mother got up from sitting on the floor. She said "I did not ask Manang Flora money. I don't know why she gave me that. If you're mad because of that money, you can have it." My Aunt just got out of our house together with J1. I don't know but J1 was like her mother and Ate J2 was different. They're different. Until now, I can still remember how they treated my mother.

It was painful seeing your mother cry. I told to myself that I will do everything to make our life comfortable and out of poverty. That I will finish my studies no matter what.

My Aunt and J1 always telling me that I can't finish my studies because we're poor. My father is an irregular construction worker and my mother is a plain housewife that sometimes labored on the farm. I know we're poor that is why I dream so high for my parents. I will dream because it's free and I will make it happen.

Since then, they treat my mother like trash. They didn't treat my mother well. That made me strong and I used it as a weapon to fight for life.

***

Now that I am already a licensed professional, I saw how their treatment of us changed. Before, they despised us because we're poor. But now, they're like parasites ready to suck out our life.

They maybe think that I forgot what they have done to our family but no I didn't. Yes, I may forgive them but I can't forget.

Only Ate J2 is the person I can trust because she's different. She accepted as though we're poor. And until now we're best friends and though we're far from each other, we don't forget to talk on the phone or have some time for a video call.

Let's go back to the Facebook comments of J1.

I thought she's mad but now she's acting as nothing happened. She even told our other cousins that they should not talk to me nor like my post on Facebook. She's childish but I didn't care. Why? Because I don't want to waste my energy on some kind of people like her. I pity her for being like that.

I still remember when she boasts that she will finish her study when I have stopped schooling after high school while she was in college at that time. She was a first-year college. She laughs at me and said that my dream to become a teacher will remain as a dream. But after her first semester, she had stopped her studies because her parents can't afford it and after that, she went to Manila, and there she found a man who impregnated her thrice. But they can't be married because the guy was already married to another woman. In short, J1 my cousin was a mistress.

I don't know what to feel. I felt a little glad because she got the karma but felt pity at the same time. Maybe it was her destiny.

I was not yet married and I am younger than her for 2 years. I told myself that I will not marry until I finish my studies. And here I am, still not married. Lol!

Anyway, I just act as nothing happens. I still talked to her but that doesn't mean that I trust her. I am done with their drama. They can't fool me again.

So, that's what I've been feeling today towards my cousin. Hope you won't judge me.

Happy reading. :)