@Aalia 24 October 2022 more from that month

When you refer to someone as “the one that got away,” what you’re really doing is holding onto the pain you are in, as well as still romanticizing the fantasy of what could have been, had SOMETHING not happened. Because that person probably didn’t say, “this won’t work out because I don’t want you or I don’t care enough to choose you or work through whatever this obstacle is.” They saw an obstacle and used it as an opportunity to quietly exit. What they probably did was point at something concrete that isn’t them and say, “this is the reason we can’t be together.” -Our timing isn’t right. -I need to focus on my career. -The distance is too much. -I’m not ready. But whatever that something is, you can point at instead of the person is just an illusional excuse diverting you from the reality. But just as someone doesn’t want to say something so blunt, we also don’t want to tell ourselves that truth because emotionally it’s easier to say this could have worked out “if only.” I know you would have done anything to make it work in a way you only wished they would have too. And that’s really brave of you to love that way. But when you romanticize the person and blame the obstacle, you’re living in a place not based in your current reality. And with these kinds of people and relationships you’ll always feel some kind of attachment and maybe even run in circles with them. That is, until you can realize the real obstacle wasn’t the thing but the person. But the longer you stay in that place and waste time emotionally investing in the idea, your reality still isn’t with them. And what you’re missing out on is something so real with someone who could love you enough to work through any obstacle and make it look as easy and love you back. You deserve to be chosen whole heartedly not half way. The truth is, there is no “one that got away,” there is only someone who didn’t love us enough to choose us through whatever challenge became an excuse rather than something to overcome together.